Here are Frankie's letters to Anna Cox, the EBS president when Frankie wrote his first letter below. All letters are written with his spellings, word choice and grammatical construction and edited only for the sake of clarity in a few places. The frequent : ) symbol is to indicate Frankie's use of a 'smiley faced Buddha'.

February 10, 1994
Dear Sir;

I'm looking for some assistance, assistance in my studies. For the last few years I've attempted to study Buddhism. I've done so on my own, with what books I could buy and what help I could get from others. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that in this state that help is hard to get from others.

I'm a Death Row inmate, have been for almost 9 years. I always felt there was something more than just asking Jesus for His forgiveness and it's all forgotten. The guilt I felt wouldn't go away. It was hard for me to forgive myself. So, I sought some other forms of release. From the books I've read in Buddhism and from what I understand the Buddha to say, I've found the forgiveness of myself from the teachings of the Buddha.

I've worked hard here on myself and that has gave (sic) me the incentive to work even harder on myself. I spend a lot of time in the early hours of the morning meditating, while its quiet. : ) What I have need of is some instruction. I've bought books and read them and meditated on what's in them. But questions tend to pop-up that I need answers to.

I have gained the privilege from the people who have me prisoner to have a small shrine (per-se) in my cell and with the help of lawyer friends, I've gotten permission to have incense and candles and a small Buddha. It's the wrong Buddha -well, it wasn't the one I wanted. It's the Buddha Maitreya. I have people looking for a Buddha that's about 6 or 8" high and made of plastic, metal or glass isn't allowed. The Buddha Shakyamuni. Would you know where I might buy one of these?

I can't begin to explain what happiness the Buddha's teachings have caused me to feel. I've never been freer - even here in this cell. I have learned that the suffering I have caused and felt was due to me and my deluded existence. I can do nothing to change what I did but can change who I am and what I do and how I live. I try very hard to follow the Dharma.

What I need is someone to write or visit and help me to further my studies. If its at all possible? Please! : ) Thank you for listening to me. Sincerely, Frankie Parker

March 13, 1994
Dear Anna,

Now, to answer some of your questions. The offer of the use of your books is great and I assure you they'll be taken care of and returned as soon as I complete it. Right now I'm reading "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying ," by Sogyal Rinpoche. Also, I just received in the mail, "The Tibetan Book of the Dead" and "Mother of the Buddhas Prajnaparamita Sutra". These should keep me busy for quite sometime. : )

What I need is some instruction on meditation and other things. I've started on this journey following the Dharma with one book, "The Dhammapada", (my first taste of truth). I was just put in the hole about five years ago and I wasn't liked by the guards or by myself for that matter and I demanded a Bible because in the hole it's the only book you can have, nothing else. The guard gave me "The Dhammapada" and said, this is the only Bible you're getting and he smiled. He'll never know how he changed my life. : ) From that day on I've never been in trouble again! I saw in the teachings of the Buddha a way out! Not out of prison but out of the suffering I was putting myself through and the more I read about Buddhism the more I grew! I'd get books and read and try to learn from them. You see, books is all I've ever had. I've never even talked to another Buddhist!

I've gotten pushed aside from the prison Chaplains. They'd do nothing to help me. Everything I got I worked hard for. One chaplain even had the prison psychiatrist see me because I was under the influence of Satan!!!! Because I have a photo of the Buddha in my cell! When I saved what little money I get and started buying books on Buddhism the chaplain kindly informed me I couldn't receive them because it wasn't an authorized religion!!!! (This place is run by fundamentalists) I kindly informed the chaplain that if any of my books were kept from me, I'd put every preacher and him, too, on my enemy list and would keep them off death row. If he can't come on death row then he can't preach! : ) Needless to say, my books were given to me! : ) And I didn't even lose my temper : ) I was very proud of myself.
Ha Ha : )

... I'd love to learn Vipassana meditation. I practice breath counting! That's it. It's all I ever learned!

... I've been on death row for 8 years, locked up 9 years. One year in jail. In 8 years, I've caught myself - the person I ran from all those years. I tried to kill the suffering with drink and drugs. This is where it got me. Before I started trying to live the Buddhist life, I was very bad. The guards and other inmates were afraid of me. Today I'm probably the best liked inmate in the whole joint. I showed those that hated me compassion and gave what I could when asked. For a long time I wasn't allowed anything in my cell because of my violence. Today I get what I want. I've made me a small shrine. I have flowers and incense and candles in my cell. I have calligraphy pens and ink. I practice calligraphy, origami, and Tai-Chi. I teach Tai Chi to others that want to learn. (Most give up on it)

Have you ever read the story of Anguilimala? The robber whom the master converted. He cut off the fingers of those he killed and wore them around his neck on a necklace. His name means Necklace of Fingers! I too only need a chance! Even here in a cell on death row I think I could become a great teacher of the Dharma. The Buddha told Anguilimala that the adventure would bring him pain and suffering! It does! I don't mind being persecuted and made fun of for studying Buddhism. That's ok. It's the compassion I've developed for all beings that has caused me the greatest pain. Someone once said, "this world is a tragedy to those who feel and a comedy to those who think". Somewhere down the road, I started feeling! I want to learn how to help those suffering to break free of samsara.

April 7, 1994
It was a very painful part of my spiritual life, connecting with all your faults. All those bad parts of your childhood and all those parts you'd like to keep buried in your psyche. I believe Jung called it your "shadow". The darker side of ourselves that we choose to hide away.

I remember sitting and meditating and some past memory arises and BAM! where did that come from? Then I'd attempt to deal with it. Bring it out. Clean it off and sit and watch it for awhile. Realizing no matter how bad or guilty I felt, it was part of me. Knowing before I could kill off my old self, I had to deal with these repressed memories. It is hard to confront ourselves honestly. There was a story I'd read somewhere? A new American student was asking an old master what he needed to buy to study Buddhism - the master answered, "A mirror!". That speaks volumes! : ) The book I'm working on (I'll show you on our visit) (has) one of the pieces I've done. (It) is a dragon and the calligraphy says, "To Study Buddhism is to Study Ourself!" Vipassana should be a required course in school. Kind of a personal psychotherapy. : )

... Vipassana in prison!!! Of course! It's where it should be. To heal from within. People have the ability to rationalize any action they do no matter how cruel. It should be a required part of life before parole. : )

May 22, 1994
I've been reading and studying the Book of the Dead. I believe its way over my head. Also, my Mom sent me a book she bought, "Buddha in the Palm of Your Hand." I've not read it yet, but will. ....I have a ton of questions to ask you. : ) Like, what does it mean to say that the Basic and ultimate reality of all things is emptiness or freedom. And, the Book of the Dead promises "natural liberation". What is that? Maybe I'm not educated enough to understand this. Who knows?...

Thank you for the Tsa Tsa. I have it on my table along with my Buddha and flowers. I did locate a Shakyamuni Buddha. It's 91/2 " high and bronze and the warden has already said no! He said maybe if I find a 6" one. I think he thinks I'd use it as a weapon! Ha Ha Could you see that. Inmate kills guard with a Buddha! Ha Ha! Never! But I understand his feeling on it.

July 10, 1994
It looks as if the State plans to murder 3 of my friends here Aug. 3rd. (Clines, Holmes, and Richley). They're from Rogers, Arkansas same as me. But they got to death row 4 years before I did. It's getting harder and harder for me to sit and watch my friends murdered. We're forbidden to say anything about the executions, no hunger strikes, no nothing. We're told to go on as if nothing is happening. They do make anti-depressive medication available for us on demand. Some guys use it and some abuse it. Some just muddle through.

Yes, Joseph Campbell is an exciting thinker. I love him. When he died - I cried. Him and H.P. Blavatsky's books are what made me seek out the Dharma and it was that that really changed my thinking.

The retreat sounded great. Maybe someday I'll get to go to some type of retreat. Like I've told you before all that I know about Buddha's teachings come from books that I've been able to buy and read and study. : )

June 22, 1994
We had a murder here last week. Redwood killed a guy named Grey. He was new: Two black guys. They're always doing this to each other. I've tried to figure out their system of thinking and I can't seem to see a pattern. Now one is dead and the other will have more time added on to his sentence at more cost to taxpayers. I'm not judging anyone just trying to understand. I think this is what is meant by the phrase "going up on the mountain" when you can look down on the suffering beings. Yesterday I watched a man get his commissary sack and he was shortchanged 35 cents. He cursed, he screamed, he threatened the guards life and got 30 days in the hole for 35 cents!!! I was like this before. No longer! If I'm impermanent therefore any problem I might have would be too. You don't know how my life has changed for the better with Buddhist philosophy. What used to cause me grief, no longer matters. confused existence, samsara, is very painful. I sometimes wonder what is was like to be around the Buddha, a person without ego. Compassion for all. No fears, ho hates, and, to him, no Buddha. I'm aware that in the future I'll be taken to Cummins prison strapped to a table and killed. As have some of my friends. To me that's no big deal. It's `the journey' that causes me to think. `Karma which starts the journey and karma which ends it. I know that I'm not my body because it decays. I'm not my thoughts, they come and go. I'm not my memories. They too change and come and go. I simply `am not'. So, therefore, using that train of thought, I don't exist so no problem that arises should exist. Kahlil Gibran said the only time he was speechless is when someone asked him who he was! : ) Ha Ha. I too cannot answer that question! Ha Ha. I don't know why I've gotten off on this subject. I guess it was on my mind. ...

I found a 9 1/2" bronze Buddha. The warden said it was too big and that he would allow a 6" bronze Buddha to come in. If I could find one. This is the first time he's considered anything other than plastic! Maybe he's softening up?
: ) Ha Ha

So, how's the retreat? What goes on at one of those? How many people attend?

July 28, 1994
This is just a short letter to tell you where I'll be if you don't hear from me in the next month.

The administration has thought it prudent to lock (up) some of the 3 guys being executed best friends, which includes me. They gave us all (6) bogus disciplinarys for threatening the staff if there's an execution! But I also understand their thinking! They want to avoid any hassle.

Between you and I, I don't mind it. So now I can grieve in secret in my cell in the hole where its a lot more quieter. Here its getting hard to concentrate on my meditation practice due to all the traffic! This place is a mad house before and right after a execution. And I really don't like talking to all these idiots. : )

Well I'll write you as soon as I get out.

August 2, 1994
(written in pencil and not as neat as usual)

I just received your card. I'm in the hole and they're still giving me my mail! It's supposed to stop, maybe they like me. : )

Tomorrow my son's birthday and the execution of my 3 friends! I can't begin to explain what I'm feeling. I wish I could do something to help. I think that's inherent in humans to try and help each other and I feel frustrated that I can't do nothing. I understand from the guards that Clines and Holmes left me some of their property.

People on death row are there for murder. Most were not done with premeditation but were done in a fit of rage or some other way. But the state tells you they're going to kill you and every few years tells you over and over again and very methodically they do it. It's like a shark. You know he's going to eat you and he has no compassion. To him you're simply a meal. The state has no compassion. They see you as just part of their job!

The longer you're on death row the more you're executed. something in you gets executed every time they kill one of your friends. I get angry and can't do anything but cry. I hate it!!

Can you imagine what its like for Clines, Richly, and Holmes. They're in the cells outside the death chamber and one by one they'll be taken and strapped to a table and killed. I was just thinking. If it was me, I'd want to be first.

It's hot in here. Swelteringly hot. There's no A/C or heat in this place. Yesterday I paced this cell so long I just dropped on the floor. It was cool laying there

One on my friends got me this piece of pencil and this paper. I'll try and locate an envelope and a stamp to mail this.

Yesterday was my birthday! The big 40! I'm getting old and I feel it too! : )

I'm allowed one book (religious). Since I told them I don't own a Bible and I'm not a Christian, they let me have another book. "Tranquility and Insight". I've been for the last few months reading and studying it. I've been working on my concentration and practicing my meditation. Its been hard with all this going on. Back here I've been practicing when everyone's asleep and it's quiet.

A few of these guys here were asking me some questions. They're general population inmates and they too are somewhat upset over this execution. They're talking crazy too! "Let's kill 3 guards!" Really stupid stuff.

Have you heard of the book, "Visuddi: Magga (The Path of Purification)"? It was written in the 5th century B.C. by monk Buddhaghosa. I think I can get a copy from the Pali Text Society in England. If I do, I'll let you copy it. That is if you haven't already got one. : ) All I know is what I've read from books and taught myself. I've never had anyone to show me anything.

They take your mattress away from you at 6 AM and return it at 6 PM. So I pace trying to burn off some anxiety and you're fed 1/2 of what everyone else gets. Maybe I'll lose a few LBS!

It's now 5:35 PM and one of the guards just opened my door to tell me that on the radio it said the judge granted me another new trial. I won't know all the details till I get a copy of her ruling. Maybe Jeff (ED. his lawyer) will send me something. It's probably just a new sentencing phase. I think we'll appeal anyway to the next higher court.

August 4 , 1994
Well, it's over with. They're dead. 3 lives snuffed out because of stupidity on both sides. But that's what samsara's all about! Suffering!

Well I'm pretty beat. I stayed awake most of last night and a guard kept me informed on the executions.

I just got the card and The Dhammapada you sent me. Thank you. They've been giving me my mail which is weird. And yesterday a guard "gave" me some stamps!!!! Who knows what's going on.

There's some "nut" in the next cell shoving notes through the wall. He wants me to kill people for him!!! Ha Ha. He needs help : ) psychologically speaking. : )

One of my friends sent me a note via a guard from Death Row telling me he's pulled some strings and I'll get out tomorrow. So they're not going to make me do the full 30 days which is good. Another week in here and I'll need a lobotomy. Some guy has been beating on a steel toilet for about 4 hours.

I figured they'd let me out after they killed those guys. And I understand their concern. But the way they did it. They locked up 4 of us over really stupid stuff. They just wanted us locked down. No hard feelings on my part.

I'll do some thinking on the logo and Tshirt designs and maybe get a few of my more artistic friends to lend a hand and I'll do some flowers and stuff too. ... Tell everyone that signed the card to me that I appreciate what they said and I appreciate their thinking of me. PS I hope that you can read this - this pencil's about as sharp as I am. : )

August 15, 1994
Just a few lines to say hello and to let you know I'm out of the hole. : ) They let me out early - for good behavior. : ) Ha Ha

It's nice to get back into A/C. : ) It was hot over there. The other 3 guys are still over there. The Capt. said that the warden himself said to let Sifu out of the hole and that he got letters from almost everyone on death row and even calls from some of the guys lawyers! It really makes me feel pretty good to be cared for. : ) Even if it is by all the people in the state they want to kill! : )

They put me in 25 cell, Holme's old cell. It took me all day to clean it. Holmes smoked like a freight train (He had lung cancer when he was executed.) I scrubbed the walls and ceiling and I have some paint coming as soon as they get some. Now I have all my worldly possessions I can get caught up on a few things I was working on.

September 7, 1994
... 2 of my friends here had their sentences reversed earlier this week. (Ford and Miller). That makes 7 of us whose had new trials ordered since July. Its kind of like they're trying to appease us for murdering 5 of us since may! Who knows?

I talked to my lawyer this week and he says he's 75% sure the 8th circuit court of appeals will throw my murder convictions completely out. Arkansas' done that once and the prosecutor retried me after he changed everything around. Everyone says it's double jeopardy. He tried me the first time for the wrong crimes!!!!!! and the jury convicted me!!!! So, I've had a lot of people in the legal field say I'd beat it. Even Butch Reeves from the Attorneys General office, whose job it is to see I'm prosecuted said I'll win the double jeopardy issue at the 8th circuit level. That's where I'm at now. So if that happens I'll no longer have any murder convictions. But I'll still have a life for kidnapping and 3-30 year sentences for attempting to kill. To be honest, I could care less what happens. Parts of me would like to have the murders thrown out so I could show the prosecutor that his lying and cheating backfired on him. But then the guilt would kill me. Because I did kill my inlaws! It was all a nightmare! Hey! How did I get off on this? : )

November 11, 1994
Hello! : ) Yes it's me, the idiot who screwed up the art show. (Ed. Frankie is in the hole - there has been a lot of trouble on the unit: and Frankie was wrongly accussed of infractions.It is now clear that Frankie did nothing wrong. This prevented Frankie from providing EBS with art work he had wanted to donate to our fall auction). I'm terribly sorry about all this. I still have 30 days left (in the hole). I swear to you on all that is holy (?) : ) there was no reason why I should have been locked up. The guard who wrote me up came and said he was sorry for it. But the warden told him to write me up. I was a little mad but understood his reasons. I'm just sitting back here keeping my trap shut : )

The lawyer came to see me after you all called him about the art stuff and he had a copy of my appeal to give me and Pitts (warden) wouldn't let him give it to me and Jeff said he'd call the Attorneys General Office to see if he could help get the art stuff released. Some of the stuff they packed on some of the other art work has destroyed. They packed books and shoes and headphones and stuff on top of mobiles and flowers. Those I sent were all I could save. To say I was absolutely livid is an understatement. The sgt. told me he would let me out before Nov 6. Right when I wrote the note with the art stuff. He lied. The Lt. in charge of isolation told a lot of my friends he'd let me out last Monday and that he knew the 2 write ups were bogus. Too many guys seen and heard what went down. He was going to let me out and the warden got wind of it and threatened to fire him! He too came to tell me what was up. He says I did or said something to make him mad. Then he said he had "other reasons". I can only speculate on that. There are others working behind the scene to get me out. He asked one of my friends here why he was friends with that "Heathen"!!!!!! This guy is a nut...

... My friends (cops and inmates) are doing their best to help me out. Last week another blanket was slipped in my cell. I got some extra food and sometimes a book to read. They're always thinking of me. Makes me feel good too to know people care for me! : )

I was back there thinking that this was unfair, that I didn't say or do anything to deserve this treatment. Then I wondered how someone being executed and knows he's truly innocent must feel. It gave me something to think about all day.

Oh! I haven't seen the Buddha yet but the mailman has it and says he'll hold it for me or whatever till I get out. He assured me he would take care of it. I'm going to have him give it to one of my friends on the row. Thank you very very much. This will be my most valued possession. I really appreciate it. I've been looking for one for 5 years...

I felt awful about the art show and Tshirts. I know you said it was ok but I hate letting anyone down!....

There were 100 questions I wanted to ask you the last time you were here. But was nervous and talked too much. I'm sorry for that. : ) ...
P.S. A "Joke: ... Oh great guru, what is the meaning of life? Answer: No parole! : )

Dec. 11, 1994
I'm fine. I've been out of the hole for awhile. I got out the day before Thanksgiving. Alls back to normal -if it ever was normal here. : )

... The warden told me I couldn't have the Buddha you sent. But between the Chaplin and the mailman, I'll get it soon. The warden leaves soon so we're not paying much attention to what he says. : ) I'll get it soon. If not, I'll let you know.

We got a new guy. Tim .... from Little Rock. They gave him 4 death sentences?? I always wonder why they do that, they can only kill him once!

Dec. 29, 1994
While walking & talking to a few friends last week on the yard a question was asked concerning the possible visit from the lama. (Ed. Lama Tharchin Rinpoche had scheduled a visit in Feb.) What am I suppose to do ... how should I bow? and things like that. This is to me, if he visits, will be the biggest event in my life since being sentenced to death! : ) That was possibly the biggest. : ) ... am I making a big deal out of this? I really don't know. It's just I want to make a good first impression. Not like our first meeting! : ) I talked too much : ) I was nervous.

Hey! Good news. The Board of Correction has finally approved contact visits for us here on the row. It's the greatest news we've gotten in years. But they haven't said when and where we'll visit. Maybe - just maybe before Feb. they'll set it up.

I still haven't received the Buddha yet. The mailman and the Chaplin have assured me I'll get it as soon as Warden Pitts leaves. If he doesn't leave we'll work something else out. : )

....I went through all my junk and got rid of a lot of books. This book replaces most of the ones I had . I passed out the old ones I had to friends to enjoy too.

So how was the wedding? I've been married 3 times and shot 6. - I think I'd rather be shot than married again. : ) Ha Ha