Steve's Favorite Quotations and Wise Sayings

In the spring a livelier iris changes on the burnished dove;
In the spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.
Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809-1892)
(I’ve heard this one mis-quoted all my life.)

 "The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he hoped to make it."
- Sir James Matthew Barrie, Scottish dramatist-author (1860-1937).

 If you cannot learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
- Ashleigh Brilliant

I have come to realize that computers do not lighten the work load, they actually make it worse.  Things that were at one time too cumbersome or just impossible to do are now possible.  Therefore we are expected to do those things.
- Author Unknown

The only salve for a broken heart, flows from one which hath been broken.
- Author Unknown

I am here to tell you that things can work out pretty well for a C student.
- President George W. Bush

Never be afraid to buy the very best; you'll always be happy with it.
- Author Unknown

When stopped at an intersection, always wait for the idiots to stop running the light before proceeding.
- a friend

Always give the customer what he wants.  If he wants his commode bolted to the ceiling--tell him that it will not flush properly--but, by golly, bolt it up there.
- my Dad, (owner of a plumbing business for over 30 years)

On Marriage:

·        Marriage is a commitment that will only last if you're willing to put everything else subservient to it.

·        Marriage changes the word "love" from a noun to a verb.

·        Marriage is not a cure-all. Things that you found amusingly annoying during your engagement will drive you absolutely homicidal after a few years of marriage.

·        Marriage is a commitment that requires constant planning and maintenance.

·        Marriage doesn't fix unhealthy relationships, it only prolongs the agony.

·        Marriage is a commitment, learn how to compromise with your spouse or else.

·        Marriage doesn't dissolve differences, it amplifies them

·        Marriage is a world where love is spelled c-o-m-m-i-t-m-e-n-t

·        Marriage is not a magic wand that will whisk away your psychological baggage

·        Marriage is about dying to self, where to become one and create a new entity ... children being the most conspicuous by product of this union

More Miscellaneous Musings:

  • "The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it." (Franklin P. Jones")

  • All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific." (Jane Wagner)

  • "I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants." (A. Whitney Brown)

  • "There's an old story about the person who wished his computer were as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true, since I no longer know how to use my telephone." (Stroustrup)

  • "Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again." (F. P. Jones)

  • "Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." (Douglas Adams)

  • "Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep." (Fran Lebowitz)

  • "The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true." (Irving Caesar)

  • "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." (Erica Jong)

  • "Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair." (George Burns)

  • "Doing a thing well is often a waste of time." (Robert Byrne)

  • "I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it." (Ashleigh Brilliant)

  • 'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt." (Abraham Lincoln)

  • "I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs." (Samuel Goldwyn)

  • "An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger." (Dan Rather)

  • "Crime does not pay... as well as politics." (Alfred E. Newman)

  • "Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?" (La Rochefoucauld)

  • "A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain." (Mark Twain)

  • "A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of." (Burt Bacharach)

  • "Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed." (Jonathan Swift)

  • "When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other." (Eric Hoffer)

  • "A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it." (Bob Hope)

Wise Sayings found on Church Marqees:

 

  • "Exposure to the Son may prevent burning."
  • "The best vitamin for a Christian is B1."
  • "Under same management for over 2000 years."
  • "Soul food served here."
  • "Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk!"
  • "Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday!"
  • "Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church."
  • "Don't give up.   Moses was once a basket case."
  • "Wal-Mart isn't the only saving place!"
  • "Prevent truth decay.   Brush up on your Bible."
  • "It's hard to stumble when you're down on your knees."
  • "What part of 'THOU SHALT NOT' don't you understand?"
  • "A clear conscience makes a soft pillow."
  • "Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive."
  • "Can't sleep? Try counting your blessings."
  • "Forbidden fruit creates many jams."
  • "Christians, keep the faith -- but not from others!"
  • "Satan subtracts and divides. God adds and multiplies."
  • "If you don't want to reap the fruits of sin, stay out of the devil's orchard."
  • "To belittle is to be little."
  • "Don't let the littleness in others bring out the littleness in you."
  • "God answers kneemail."

 

 

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