Goodday Pastor,
Greetings in the name of our lord.I'm Daniel Ine.a student in final year in one of the Nigerian University.I'm in the Department of Geophysics. Pls i'm seeking for funds to eneble me complete my program in school.Pls i know you dont know me ,but you can still help me with some token as a person.This 'll help me go higher in my career. Sorry i 've to come this way ,but i believe i 've no choice .All i 'm asking from you is ($100.00)One Hundred Dollars. You can assist me if you really want to.Pls read this mail and get back to me soon with this same address.
Best Regards, Daniel.
Dear Daniel,
If I am to assist you I must know where you got my email and my name? Please let me know these things.
Sincerely, Robert K. Keller
HELLO,
THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONCE.I'VE BEEN TRYING TO MEET A KIND MAN LIKE YOU.SORRY IF I OFFENDED YOU.I GOT YOUR EMAIL FROM THE NET,WHEN I WAS SEACHING FOR PASTOR AND GOOD PEOPLE OFGOD. PASTOR PLS I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP.I NEED TO COMPLETE MY EDUCATION.I'M IN MY FINAL YEAR.I'VE BEEN PAYING MY FEES THROUGH THE ODD JOBS I DO.NOW I'VE A FRACTURE IN MY LEFT ARM,SO I CAN AFFORD TO ANY HARD JOB AGAIN. PLS NOTHIG IS TOO SMALL TO ASSIST ME IN MY CAREER.PLS I AWIAT YOUR URGENT RESPONCE.
THANKS AGIAN FOR YOUR CONCERN ABOUT ME.
REGARDS, DANIEL.
Dear Daniel,
I received your email. I'm sorry about your fractured arm. I hope you have enough pills for the pain. I still don't understand where you got my address. You say you got it from the net, but I don't recall ever putting any of my personal information up there. Please let me know EXACTLY where you got my information from. I'm curious. Also, before I can help you I must know something about you. You haven't even told me your last name or where you are from or what your hobbies are or if you have any brothers or sisters. As a Pastor you know it is my job to help the poor and sick and I would be perfectly willing to help you, Daniel, but you must be more forthcoming with your personal information. I cannot just send money to some stranger. We must get to know each other. I often help poor students in other countries and would be very happy to assist you as soon as I find out more about you. I would also appreciate a picture of you. I know that there are many scams going on over the internet, therefore if you wish me to send you some assistance you must send me a picture that I know is not faked. Therefore, please have someone take a picture of you holding a sign that says:
I FELCH PASTOR KELLER
"Felch" of course is the Greek term for "respect." My church has specific funds for foreign students and our regular contribution is $6,500 per semester. Will this amount be sufficient? Of course, if you need more money for books and lodging this could also be arranged. As soon as you send me the picture and the other information I requested, we can wire $6,500 to your account or send it by Western Union. Good luck to you my son.
Sincerely, Rev. Robert K. Keller, D.D.
GOODDAY PASTOR,
GREETINGS IN THE NAME OF THE LORD.I GOT YOUR MAIL.I'VE SOME PILLS A FRIEND GAVE TO ME.I'M REALLY PLEASED WITH THE WAY YOU 'RE CONCERNED ABOUT MY WELLFARE.
I'M DANIEL A.INEGBEDION,FROM NIGERIA.I'M A STUDENT OF AMBROSE ALLI UNIVERSITY,DEPARTMENT OF GEOPHYSICS,I'M CURRENTLY IN MY FINAL YEAR(4TH YEAR)I REALLY NEED MONEY FOR MY BOOKS ,PROJECT WORK AND SEMINAR WORKS. I LOVE READING, TRAVELLING,AND I DO PLAY BASKETBALL.I SPEAK GOOD ENGLISH AND MY NATIVE LANGUAGE.I LOST MY DAD WHEN I WAS 9 YEARS OLD.I'M SAD TO SAY I'M AN ORPHAN. I'VE 2 BROTHERS AND A SISTER.THE FIRST IS IN THE UNIVERSITY ALSO.WHILE THE OTHER TWO 'RE PRESENTLY IN COLLEDGE.
I REALLY NEED HELP FROM GOD FEARING PERSONS.I'VE SURFFERED ENOUGH. I'LL SEND MY PICTURE TOMORROW.I'LL HAVE TO GET MONEY FOR THE PHOTOGRAPH FROM ANY OF MY KIND FRIENDS.
DADDY I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR EFFORT,AND I PRAY THE GOD IN HIS ABOUNDANT BLESS YOU REAL GOOD.(AMEN)
REGARDS, YOUR SON DANIEL A. INEGBEDION
My Dear Daniel,
Thank you for your email. You still didn't tell me exactly where you found my name. I will send you money upon receipt of the EXACT picture I requested. Remember, it must say:
I FELCH PASTOR KELLER
This picture must be scanned large enough for me to read the letters on the sign you are holding. I await this picture as final proof that you are the person with whom I am communicating.
How is your arm?
Sincerely, Rev. Robert K. Keller
GOODDAY PASTOR,
THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL.I WENT TO TAKE THE PHOTOGRAPH TODAY.I'LL SEND IT HOPEFULLY TOMORROW.I CAN REMEMBER WHEN I WAS BROWSING I GOT YOUR ADDRESS.PLS DONT BE OFFENDED.I DONT 'VE AN ACCOUNT.SO YOU CAN SEND IT VIA WESTERN UNION.I'LL SEND YOU MY CONTACT ADDRESS AS SOON AS YOU ACCEPT THE PICTURE.I WOULD 'VE REALLY WANT TO SPEAK WITH YOU BUT I DONT 'VE A PHONE.
I'LL CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR YOU.THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU.
REGARDS, YOUR SON, DANIEL.
Dear Daniel,
I await the picture and will send you the money. Do you need any more pills?
Bless you my son.
Rev. Robert K. Keller
DEAR PASTOR,
THANKS FOR THE MAIL.I'VE ATTACHED THE PICTURE.I'VE BEEN THINKING OF HOW TO PAY YOU FOR ALL YOUR KIND GESTURE.PASTORS LIKE YOU 'RE DIFFICULT TO COME
BY.I WISH EVERYBODY ON EARTH COULD BE LIKE YOU. I'M VERY GREATFULL.I TOLD MY BROTHERS AND SISTER ABOUT THIS AND THEY 'RE VERY HAPPY.
PASTOR THE AMOUNT $6,500 WOULD 'VE BEEN ENOUGH FOR ME.BUT I 'VE VOWED TO GOD THAT IF HE CAN BLESS ME FINACIALLY,THAT I DO DO AS IT IS IN THE BIBLE,GIVE UNTO HIM 10% AS A TITHE UNTO HIM.AND GIVE 5% TO THE ORPHANGE WHERE I GREW UP.I KNOW THE PAINS AND SORROW THEY 'RE PASSING THROUGH.I'LL GO TO THE HOSPITAL
AS SOON AS I GET THE MONEY,BECAUSE I'M STILL HAVING PAINS IN MY ARMS.
PLEASE YOU SEND THE FUNDS TO :
INEGBEDION A. DANIEL.
#1 EJODAMEN STR' EKPOMA,
EDO -STATE, NIGERIA.
I'LL BE EXPECTING YOUR MAIL THANKS AND GOD BLESS.
REGARDS, DANIEL.
Dear pastor,
Thanks for your concern about me.I told the matron in the orphange i grow up in,abouth you and she was indeed very happy.I was suggesting to her if we could name her football team after your name,in honour of your kind gesture.And she said as soon as you give us the concnt,that she 'll be very happy to do it.Pls get back to me,if it is okay by you.
Pastor pls send me the following details as soon as the transfer is made.
1) The Western union Money transfer control number (MTCN)
(2) Text Question ( depending on which question and answer that you wish to use)
(3) Exact amount sent.
(4) senders name and address.
You can do the tarnsfer from any western union . I'm praying for you to 've long life and prosperity.thanks again for all you 've done.I'll get to you soon.
Regards, Your son daniel.
Dear Daniel,
I have received your picture and it is an excellent likeness. Thank you very much. Daniel, I have some excellent news for you. The board of directors at our church has decided that three individuals in need are to receive a full $10,000 scholarship. I have submitted your name and it was drawn out of the hat among 1,264 other names. CONGRATULATIONS! The only requirement from the board is that you write a short essay. The children in our Sunday School are very interested in your thoughts about Americans. Therefore it has been determined that your essay should be entitled "Why I Felch Pastor Keller." It only needs to be three or four paragraphs long and shouldn't take you more than 30 minutes to write. Daniel, this is a great opportunity for you. With the original $6,500, that would bring the grand total to $16,500. After we receive the essay, would you like a money order mailed to you or would you like the money transferred into a bank account of your choice? We anticipate your essay and the children will be very happy to hear of your felching proclivities.
How is your arm? Would you like some Percodans or OxyContin sent to you along with the check?
Sincerely, Pastor Robert K. Keller
DEAR PASTOR,
THANKS FOR THE GREAT OPPORTUNITY GIVEN TO ME.I'M IN DEED VERY GREATFULL. I PRAY THAT YOU EXCELL IN ALL YOUR ENDEVOUR.I'LL SEND THE ESSAY NOW.
MY REGARDS TO YOUR BOARD DIRECTORS.
REGARDS, DANIEL.
WHY I FELCT PASTOR KELLER
I RESPECT PASTOR KELLER SO MUCH.HE HAS BEEN OFA GREAT HELP TO ME AS AN ORPHAN.GETTING A KIND MAN OF HIS TYPE IS SO DIFFICULT TO COME BY.I'VE NEVER MEANT HIM,UNTIL I ASK OF FAVOUR FROM HIM.PASTOR KELLER HAS SURPRISE ME A LOT.
I 'VE BEEN WOUNDRING WHY A PASTOR THAT DONT KNOW ME SHOULD DECIDE TO HELP AN ORPHAN OF MY TYPE.EVERY HUMAN BEING 'LL CERTAINLLY HAVE TO FEEL THE WAY I'M FEELING.
I'LL ALWAYS CONTINUE TO FELCH PASTOR KELLER FOR THE KIND OF LIFE HE HAS INPACTED ON ME.I 'LL 'VE TO BELEVE HE HAS BEEN DOING THIS TO SO MANY OTHER ORPHANS IN NEED.PASTOR KELLER IS REALLY A GREAT MAN OF GOD,I'LL ALWAYS FELCH. EVERY MAN ON EARTH THAT DONT APPRECIATE IS AN INGRATE.I'M NOT AN INGRATE, SO I 'VE TO FELCH PASTOR KELLER.
I'LL ALWAYS FELCH PASTOR KELLER TILL ETERNITY
DEAR PASTOR,
CALVARY GREETING IN THE NAME OF GOD.I JUST SENT THE ESSAY NOW.PLS I'M STILL COUNTING ON YOU FOR YOUR KIND ASSISTANCE.I DONT 'VE A BANK ACCOUNT,BUT I'LL GIVE YOU MY MATRON'S BANK ACCOUNT WHERE I CAN GET THE MONEY. I'LL BE WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU. THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU REAL GOOD.
REGARDS, YOUR SON DANIEL.
DEAR PASTOR,
THE SOVEREING LORD HAS FILLED YOU WITH HIS SPIRIT.HE HAS CHOOSEN YOU AND SENT YOU TO BRING GOOD NEWS TO THE POOR,NEEDY AND THE ORPHANS. PASTOR KELLER FOREIGNERS SHALL SERVE YOU,TAKE CARE OF YOUR FLOCKS,FARM. YOUR LAND AND TENDS YOUR VINEYARD.YOU 'LL BE KNOWN AS THE PRIEST OF THE. LORD.YOU SHALL ENJOY THE WEALTH OF THE NATIONS,AND BE PROUD THAT IT'S YOURS.
YOU SHALL LIVE IN YOUR OWN LAND ,YOUR WEALTH AND RICHES 'LL BE DOUBLED AND YOUR JOY SHALL LAST FOR EVER.THIS IS WHAT GOD HAS PROMISED YOU.
PASTOR KELLER,WE SEEK FOR YOUR APPROVAL TO NAME THE ORPHANGE FOOTBALL TEAM I GREW UP IN, AFTER YOUR NAME.WE WANT TO DO THIS AS AN HONOUR AND A SIGN OF APPRECIATION FOR YOUR KIND GESTURE. PLS I'LL WANT THE MONEY BE SENT TO ME THROUGH AN ACCOUNT.I'LL ALSO APPRECIATE
IF THE PILLS 'RE SENT TOO. THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU RICHLY GOOD.
REGARDS, YOUR SON DANIEL.
Dear Son,
I received your essay and presented it to the Board of Directors. The minium passing grade required in order to receive the scholarship is a C-Plus. I'm afraid your grade for the essay is a D-Minus. Daniel, you misspelled "FELCH" in the title of the essay! This is the reason for your low grade. You spelled it "FELCT." I tried to explain to the Board that English is probably not your primary language, but they were unbendable in their resolve. But I have GREAT NEWS! I talked them into giving you a second chance.
The children in our Sunday School are very interested in the animals that live in Africa. If you would pick your favorite animal (like a zebra or a giraffe or a three-toed tree sloth) and write a short essay on why you FELCH that particular animal then I assure you that you have an EXCELLENT chance of still getting the scholarship. Daniel, BE VERY CAREFUL of your spelling this time so that we can get this money to you before Christmas. Please make sure that you spell FELCH correctly this time. The title of your essay should be "WHY I FELCH (write your favorite animal here)"
Good luck, Daniel. I am praying that you get a C-PLUS or better this time. You can do it, son! I have faith in you and am praying to God Almighty and our saviour Jesus H. Christ that you receive a passing grade this time.
Love, Pastor Robert K. Keller
DEAR PASTOR,
CALVARY GREETINGS IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD JESUS.I WENT TO THE BANK TO MAKE AN ENQUIRY ON HOW TO GET THE MONEY.THEY SAID THE MONEY SHOULD BE SENT VIA WESTERN UNION.PLS I'VE DECIDED TO COLLECT THE MONEY WITH MY FRIENDS NAME ,REASONS IS BECAUSE I DONT 'VE A BANK ACCOUNT. PLS PASTOR,YOU CAN SEND THE MONEY TO:
ISIWELE E. MOMOH
#1 EJODAMEN STR',
EKPOMA,EDO-STATE
NIGERIA.
I WILL GET THE MONEY WITH THIS ADDRESS.PLS ALSO REMEMBER TO SEND ME THE MTCN,THE NAME YOU USED IN SENDING THE MONEY,THE ACTUALL AMOUNT SENT,THE TEST QUETION AND ANSWER, AND THE LOCATION WHERE YOU SENT THE MONEY.ALL THIS WILL ENABLE ME GET THE MONEY ON TIME.
PASTOR I'M REALLY GREATFULL FOR ALL YOU'VE DONE. I'LL ALWAYS APPRECIATE .
REGARDS, DANIEL.
DEAR PASTOR,
I GOT YOUR MAIL.I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN,I'LL SEND IN THE ESSAY NOW.THANKS FOR YOUR KINDNESS,
REGARDS, DANIEL.
Dear Son Daniel,
There will be no problem sending the money to your friend. It is a good friend who is willing to help a friend. This is a friendly friend. We anticipate receiving your essay on Felching an Animal.
Sincerely, Rev. Robert K. Keller
"WHY I FELCH ZEBRA"
Zebra is kind of Animal found in the area of Africa.It has a stripes colour.The stripes serve as a protective camouflage against predators, who, unable to identify the Animal they have targeted to pursue, hesitate for a vital second that can save a Zebra's life. For herd members, though, the stripes have an opposite purpose. Each Zebra has a unique pattern which identifies it as an individual.
Zebra therefore teaches us valuable lessons about the individual in a group. All social animals, humans included, benefit from life in a community. None of us, though, care to be anonymous herd animals. Zebras' distinctive markings teach us that we, too, can develop our individuality within a group setting.The opposite meanings of a Zebra's stripes relate to another meaning for Zebra. They teach us that nothing is black and white.
We all face seeming oppositions and contradictions in our lives. When they remain opposite, we experience energy blockages. However, when we can integrate these opposites, we experience the relief of tension, release of energy, and may become open to the realization of greater truths.The leadership of a herd of Zebras is based on flexibility rather than strength. Flexibility is a key ingredient in being able to integrate opposites and contradictions.For all its black and white appearance, the Zebra is thus a highly adaptable and subtle animal. Such characteristics help us as humans in our individual and communal journeys.Zebra is one of the Wild Earth Animal Essences.This is why i Felch Zebra.
DEAR PASTOR,
I'LL NEVER DISSAPOINT YOU.I JUST SENT IN THE ESSAY.I HOPE IT 'LL BE BETTER THIS TIME.PASTOR PLS TRY TO ASSIST ME.I'M HOPING ON YOU.PLS GET BACK TO ME SOON.
REGARDS, YOUR SON DANIEL.
Dear Son,
Your essay on Zebra Felching was EXCELLENT! I submitted it to the Board of Directors and I hope to hear their determination by tonight. I will email you as soon as I hear how you did. Chin up!
Please tell me about your friend ISIWELE E. MOMOH. Does he felch animals as well?
Sincerely, Pastor Robert K. Keller, D.D.
Dear Daniel,
How are you doing? How is your arm? I submitted your Zebra Felching essay to the Board of Directors and unfortunately you came in second to a boy from Paraguay who wrote an essay on felching walruses. So he won the scholarship. I actually thought that your essay was better, but the Board decided otherwise. But all is not lost, my son! As a consolation prize you win a WONDERFUL waffle iron! It's a GE waffle iron and comes with Teflon inserts so it's very easy to wash. Please let me know if you want it sent to your good friend ISIWELE E. MOMOH. Congratulations, Daniel! Keep up the good work!
Your Pastor, Robert K. Keller, D.D.
DEAR PASTOR,
I 'M GREATFULL FOR ALL YOUR KINDNESS AND ASSISTANCE.PASTOR,I ALREADY TOLD FRIENDS ABOUT THE GOOD THINGS YOU PROMISED ME.THEY WERE REALLY HAPPY. I'M HOPING ON GOD FOR A BETTER OPPORTUNITY.PASTOR PLS YOU CAN SEND ME THE $6,500 YOU PROMISED ME INITIALLY,THROUGH MY FRIEND,YOU ALREADY 'VE THE INFORMATIONS. AS FOR THE PRIZE I WON,YOU CAN SEND IT TO ME.WITH THIS ADDRESS BELOW:
INEGBEDION A. DANIEL.
#2 AMEDU STREET,OPP.A.C.C COMPOUND,
IRRUA,EDO-STATE,
NIGERIA.
PLS GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS THE MONEY IS SENT.ALWAYS REMEMBER ME IN YOUR PRAYERS.
REGARDS, DANIEL.
Dear Son Daniel,
Good day, my son. Congratulatins once again on the acquisition of the waffle iron. I neglected to inquire whether you wanted it in white, coppertone, or avocado. Which color would you prefer? As far as the $6,500 initial scholarship, I shall endeavor to send this via Western Union by tomorrow evening. I hope that this shall not be too late. Should I address the money to you or to your dear friend in Christ?
Bless you every day of your scrambled existence, Daniel!
Pastor Keller
DEAR PASTOR,
CALVARY GREETINGS IN THE NAME OF GOD.THANKS FOR ALL YOU'VE DONE FOR ME.YOU CAN SEND ANY COLOUR OF THE WAFFLE IRON AVAILABLE TO ME. PASTOR YOU 'VE TO ADDRESS THE MONEY TO MY FRIENDS MAME.I'LL BE WAITING TO GET THE MTCN,YOUR FULL NAMES,WHERE YOU SENT THE MONEY,TEST QUESTION AND ANSWER USED, AND THE ACTUALL AMOUNT SENT.
I'M VERY GREATFULL.I'LL APPRECIATE YOUR KIND GESTURE.PASTOR ALWAYS REMEMBER ME IN YOUR PRAYERS. THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU.
REGARDS, DANIEL.
DEAR PASTOR,
I'M SORRY FOR ALL THE INCOVINIENCES I 'VE CAUSED YOU.PLS I WOULD 'VE PREFERED IF THE MONEY IS SENT IN THE MORNING,SO THAT I CAN GET IT HERE IN NIGERIA ON TIME.HOPE THIS 'LL COST YOU MUCH?
PLS TRY TO GET BACK TO ME.
REGARDS, DANIEL.
DEAR PASTOR,
MERRY XMAS IN ADVANCE.HOW IS THE MINISTRY ?I WAS WOUNDRING WHY YOU DID NOT SEND ME THE MONEY AGAIN AS PROMISED.I WAITED SO LONG.PASTOR I MADE A MISTAKE IN THE MAIL I SENT LAST TIME.I WAS SURPOSE TO WRITE"HOPE IT 'LL NOT COST YOU ANY PAINS"I THEN WROTE HOPE IT 'LL COST YOU PAINS.I'M VERY SORRY FOR THAT MISTAKE.I NOW TYPE WITH ONE HAND,DUE TO THE PAINS I 'VE IN MY LEFT ARM.THAT IS WHY THERE IS ERROR IN WHAT I MAILED YOU.
PASTOR PLS ENDEVOUR TO SEND THE MONEY TO ME TODAY AS PROMISED.I'LL BE VERY GREATFULL IF ALL IS WELL. THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU.(AMEN)
REGARDS, YOUR SON DANIEL.
DEAR PASTOR,
COMLEMENTS OF THE SEASONS.I 'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOUR MAIL.HOPE ALL IS WELL?MY FRIENDS 'RE WAITING TO SEE WHAT YOU PROMISED ME.
DEAR PASTOR,PLS KINDLY ASSIST ME.I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP AT THE MOMENT.PLS I'M STILL WAITING FOR ALL THAT YOU PROMISED ME.PASTOR KELLER, PLS I'M STILL WAITING.I NEED TO SEE THE DOCTOR.GOD 'LL BLESS YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU 'VE DONE. PLS SEND ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER SO THAT I CAN SPEAK WITH YOU.
BEST REGARDS, YOUR SON DANIEL.
Daniel,
Have no fear, my son! I have shipped your beautiful new waffle iron. I sent you a coppertone one. I hope it goes with your kitchen décor. Please let me know what you think of it. I could also send you some maple syrup if you'd like.
Yours in the Lord, Pastor Keller
DEAR PASTOR,
CALVARY GREETINGS.I'M SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOU 'VE SENT MY WAFFLE IRON.PLS WHAT COURIER DID YOU USE IN SENDING IT SO THAT I KNOW WHEN TO EXPECT IT.
PASTOR KELLER,PLS WHEN 'LL YOU SEND ME THE $6,500 TO ME??I REALLY NEED IT NOW.PLS TRY TO SEND IT ON MONDAY MORNING.I'LL BE VERY HAPPY IF YOU CAN SEND IT TO ME. PASTOR I'LL SEE THE DOCTOR AS SOON AS I GET THE MONEY.DID YOU SEE THE
XMAS GREETINGS I SENT TO YOU??HOPE YOU LIKE IT. PASTOR,ALWAYS REMEMBER ME IN YOUR PRAYERS. BEST REGARDS,
YOUR SON, DANIEL.
DEAR PASTOR,
WARMEST GREETINGS FROM YOUR SON AND A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU.PASTOR KELLER YOU PROMISED TO SEND ME $6,500 BEFORE CHRISTMAS.MY BROTHERS AND MY ONLY SISTER 'RE WAITING TO SEE THE GOOD THINGS YOU PROMISED ME.
PASTOR PLS TRY TO SEND THE MONEY TO ME THIS MORNING SO THAT I CAN GET IT BEFORE THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY.I BELIEVE YOU 'RE SENT BY GOD TO HELP ME OUT OF MY PREDICAMENTS. I PRAY THAT GOD IN ABUNDANCE BLESS YOU WITH ALL THE GOOD THINGS IN LIFE(AMEN)
PASTOR ,I 'LL BE VERY HAPPY IF THE MONEY IS SENT THIS MORNING.THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU .
REGARDS, YOUR SON, DANIEL.
Daniel,
It's been a terrible, terrible week here at the church. Our entire treasury has been ROBBED by a Nigerian 419 scammer. Yes, difficult as it is to believe, another employee here knew I was helping out a young African person and she received a letter from a Miriam Abacha purporting to split $30,000,000 with her in exchange for paying several dozen EXTREMELY LARGE fees. After shelling out about $94,357 to these scoundrels, we're left with NOTHING and we're being kicked out of our church building and five employees have committed suicide and one employee kicked his dog and stuck a screwdriver into a toaster oven! All these disasters just before Xistmas. At least you'll get your waffle iron, Daniel! It's being delivered to Daniel, c/o General Delivery, Nigeria. I certainly pray that it goes with your kitchen decore.
Good luck, Daniel. And Merry Xistmas.
Pastor Robert K. Keller
DEAR PASTOR,
SORRY FOR ALL THAT HAPPENED.IS HARD TO BELIEVE THERE 'RE STILL 419. PLS DONT DO ANYTHING TO HARM YOURSELF,I'LL CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR YOU.IF YOU NEED ANY ASSISTANCE I'LL CERTAINLY ASSIST YOU. BEST REGARDS,
YOUR SON, DANIEL.
Dear Daniel,
Yup, it's pretty amazing all right that people still fall for that 419 bullshit! You'll notice, however, that I wasn't one of them. MUGU!
Pastor Robert K. Keller
DEAR PASTOR,
COMPLEMENTS OF THE SEASONS.HOW 'RE U DOING.I'VE BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL AL THIS WHILE,THIS IS WHY I COULDN'T MAIL YOU.I JUST RECOVERED FROM THE SHOCK.ACTUALLY YOU DISAPOINTED ME SOMUCH.I HAD ALL THE BELIEVE THAT ALL BE WELL WITH ME.I'VE
NOT GOTTEN THE WAFFLE IRON TILL NOW.PLS PASTOR,PROMISE AND FAIL IS A SIN IN THE SIGHT OF GOD.PLS TRY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE TO SEND ME THE $6,500 YOU PROMISED ME.I'LL REALLY APPRECIATE.AND GOD 'LL BLESS YOU SO MUCH.IF YOU CAN HELP ME WITH THIS ,I'LL NEVER DISTURB YOU AGIAN WITH FINANCIAL PROBLEMS.PLS
TRY TO SEND ME THIS MONEY AS SOON AS YOU GET THIS MAIL. THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU.
REGARDS, YOUR SON DANIEL.
My Dear Daniel,
I am shocked that you have not gotten the waffle iron yet. Perhaps it is due to a loss at the shipping agency or theft or something. I should have doubly insured it. I'm afraid we're all out of waffle irons at the moment, but if you do not get it within three or four days, we do have a few other items left as consolation prizes. You can choose from a Toaster Oven or a Fondue Pot. Please let me know which of these you would like and I'll have shipping package one up for immediate shipment.
What were you in the hospital for?
Sincerely, Pastor Robert K. Keller
DEAR PASTOR,
GREETINGS IN THE NAME OF GOD.PASTOR I HAD A SCECOND TAUGHT.PLS I NEED A TOASTER OVEN AND NOT THE OTHER CONSOLATION PRIZE.I'LL WAITING TO SEE IT.GOD. BLESS YOU(AMEN)
BEST REGARDS, DANIEL