OH MY GAWD! Egobia and his sister are in the evil clutches of ECOMOG!

FROM:EGOBIA KAMARA AND SISTER

Attn: CEO

CONFIDENTIAL

I am Egobia Kamara the only son of late former Director of finance, Chief Vincent R. Kamara Sierra-Leone diamond and mining corporation. I must confess my agitation is real, and my words is my bond, in this proposal. My late father diverted this money meant for purchase of ammunition, for my country, during the peak of disastrous civil war in my country, now he has deposited the money with BANK here in Abidjan, where I am residing under political Assylum with my younger sister.

Now the war in my country is over with the help of ECOMOG soldiers, the present government of Sierra Leone has revoked the passport of all officers who served under the former regime and now ask countries to expel such person at the same time freeze their account and confiscate their asset, it is on this note that I am contacting you, all I needed from you is to furnish me with your bank particulars.

1) Account name
2) Account number
3) Bank address, telephone and fax numbers
4) your private telephone /fax numbers

For you to assist me transfer this money in your private bank account, the said amount is (US$37 000.000.00 Million). I am compensating you with 15% of the total money amount, now all my hope is banked on you and I really wants to invest this money in your country, were their is stability of Government, political and economic welfare.

Honestly I want you to believe that this transaction is real and never a joke. My late father Chief Vincent Kamara gave me the deposit slip issued to him by the Bank on the date of deposit, for you to be clarify because, I do not expose my self to anybody I see, I believe that you are able to keep this transaction secret for me because this money is the hope of my life, it is important.

Please write me immediately after you must have gone through my message fill free and make it urgent. That is the reason why I offered you 15% of the total money amount, and in case of any other necessary expenses you might incure, I am resolving to give you an addition of 5% during this transaction.

N.B Try and negotiate for me some profitable blue chip investment opportunities which is risk free which I can invest with this money when it is transferred to your account, personally I am interested in estate management and hotel business, please advise me. And promise me and my younger sister to be our guardian considering our situation and not to betray us.

And my late father used me the only son as the beneficiary / next of kin on the day of deposit and also told me I need an assistance of a foreigner with a legitimate bank Account abroad who will stand as co-beneficiary and partner abroad to ensure a successful hitch free transfer of the fund abroad. please contact the two orphans with this number:+22507822321

Thanks and God bless

Yours truly Egobia Kamara and Sister

I'll let him know my stance on pills right off the bat.

Dear Egobia,

I read of your plight with a sad heart and heavy knees. Please let me know what I can do to help you and your sister out of this mess. I thank you for offering me 15% of the money and will do all in my power to get you into the United States, where there is freedom and pills.

Please let me know what must be done.

Sincerely, Robert K. Keller

Looks like he's down with the pill thang! One email and he's already asking me to send him some "for his sister."

Dear Sir,

May this mail find you well Amen.

Thanks for your concern, kindness and for your willgness towards this transaction. We pray may Almighty God guide and protect you in jesus name we prayed Amen.

Sir, please i am 21yrs old and my younger sister is 17yrs old, We came from a christian family and We need a God fearring and honest person who will take us like his or her own blood children and who will take this transaction confidential because this is the only hope that, my late father left for us. Sir, please you have to send to us your Banking details, private tel/fax numbers, your international passport first and 2nd pages and A guarantee letter with your company's letter headed paper that, when this money transfer into any account of your choice that, you will not sit on it.

Sir, when i receive all these things from you, then i will submit it to the bank as my late father's business partner and the beneficiary of the fund and i will fax to you the deposit slip and Agreement letter that, the bank issued to my late father on the day he deposited the fund with them.Do call me as soon as you receive this mail on this number 0022507 822321.

Sir, please my younger sister is having kidney problem and the doctor asked us to look for some kidney drugs to enable him treat her and I will like you to send some kidney drugs to us over here in Abidjan because i don't want her to take the operation over here in a local hospital. Await for your urgent response.

Thanks and God bless Egobia Kamara For The Family

Just tell ol' pharmocentric Keller what you want, my man.

Dear Egobia,

I read your email with heavy heart and broken kneecaps. I am praying for your sister and we must act on this emergency IMMEDIATELY! What kind of drugs does your sister need? I have constant access to Vicodan, Percodan, OxyContin, Norco, Seconol, Morphine Sulfate, Lortab, Lorcet and Dilaudid. Any or all of these can I send to your sister so she can cop a major buzz. I will be partaking of these same at the same time so we can psychically link up with the buzzing and nodding that will be the result of the consumption of many, many pills. How can I send them to you? Can you buy them there in the open drug markets? I hope so!

Here is my banking information you requested:

Bank of the Ozarks No. 4-5108345-10437 43445 South Crystalmeth Road., Benton, AR 72663, USA Routing No. 9-108573-106971

I'm afraid that the tornadoes have destroyed the phone lines here and satellite internet communication is the only way possible. Please answer me by email and I will do the same for the time being.

I can't wait to meet your 17-year-old sister and have many showers with her. Please, what is her name? Also, please send me a picture of you both so that I can see with whom I am dealing. This will make me feel much more comfortable. I am including with this email a picture of me. Please show it to your sister and let me know what she thinks, like, if I can score or anything.

Sincerely, Robert K. Keller

Doesn't this moron know that pills will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no pills?

Dear Sir,

May this mail find you well in Jesus Name Amen.

Thanks very very much for your kindness and for your willingness towards this transaction.

Sir, please the doctor adviced us that, if you send the drugs to us over here that, it will last like five days please i will like you to calculate the amount of those drugs that you mentioned to us and send the money to us through MONEY GRAMM with the docotor's name ogbonna Chidiebere immediately and send the information through this our mail box. Sir, i will submit your particulars to the bank by tomorrow morning. Await for your urgent response.

Thanks and remain bless Yours Egobia Kamara For the family.

NB: Please try and make sure that you save my younger sister as you promised

He sends me a couple of pictures. His might be believable in ordinary circumstances, but hers looks like it was scanned from a 1950's National Geographic!

Dear Egobia,

Thanks for sending me the pictures. Your sister looks just like this kind-hearted retard who used to mow our lawn. Her name was Latrina and she was just cute as a bug. But I'm so sad knowing how sick your sister is. Although, I must admit she looks pretty healthy in that picture. Was the picture taken before she took ill? About the drugs ... It would be much easier for me to just send you a box of pills since I have hundreds of bottles laying around the house. I'm a drugstore cowboy, if you know what I mean and I've always got plenty of pills! Please let me know if she likes Percodans or OxyContin better. I could send some 80mg OC's no problem. They'll blow you away like nobody's business. I'm on about 240mg right now and I can barely even see.

Please Ebogia, I want to help your sister, but I don’t know who this Ogbonna Chidiebere is. I don't know if I can trust him with all these pills. I could get into serious trouble by sending an assload of pills through the U.S. Mail, but this is a chance I will take in order to give your sister a major buzz.

You know what's totally awesome? Listening to "Dark Side of the Moon" on headphones while downing Percs or OC's. Do you have a CD player? I think your sister would be very pleased to have some music playing when she takes these pills.

So, Egobia, please let me know what your sister's favorite kind of pills are and tell me about this Ogbonna Chidiebere. I don't like his name. I'm from New Orleans and down there "chidiebere" means "buggerer of dead slugs." I don't trust anybody with this name.

You are a very handsome man, Egobia. I would like to give you a reach-around when you come to the United States. Will this be OK?

Sincerely, Robert K. Keller

Guess he ain't into Pink Floyd or something.

Dear Sir,

May this mail find you well.

It is pity that, you are insulting us and you made us to be remembering our late parents there is know problem but only Almighty God will bear us withness how this mail that you sent to us is boiling in my mind .

Sir, this shows me that, you don't want to save my sister mary as you promised but she will not die, sir i think that your a God fearing and honest person but i have seen that, you are very happy because We are orphans but you have to know that, Chidiebere ogbonna is a name of the doctor and if you don't like the name you can use my name Egobia Kamara to send the money.

Thanks Egobia Kamara For the Family.

NB: i did not see you picture and i don't know how i will submit your name to the bank as my late father's business partner and the beneficiary of the fund.

I can't help it. I just don't trust Dr. Chidiebere.

Dear Egobia,

Listen dude, I don’t understand why you think I was insulting in my response to you. I mean, I was just telling you what that doctor's name was in Cajun.. How about if you told me that there was somebody you wanted me to send money to and his name meant in your language "killer of small puppies" or "hiney-reamer of pre-pubescent girls" or something? You wouldn't want to send any money to somebody with a name like that, I'm sure!

I offered, in good faith, to send your sister all the pills she wants and you treat me like this! This is insulting to me, Egobia. If you don't want me to send pills, that's OK. I want to help your poor sister in any way I can because I want to do the deed with both of you. Especially your sister. I want to do right by her and I will give you two reach-arounds if you want.. I'm that kinda guy, dude! Listen, man, I have pills or money that I can send. I just thought that since your sister needed pills, I'd send her some.. I seriously think that she'd much prefer a couple bottles of OC-80s. They're the bomb! Ask her what she wants me to do and I will do it. Just don't tell me that I'm insulting, because I am not!

I'm sorry you didn't get the picture and I will attach it to this email again. But I sent it once. Perhaps it's your ISP that is at fault. Perhaps you should call them and ask them what the deal is.

Please tell me what your sister says about getting it on and about whether she wants pills or money. Then tell me where to send the pills or money and I will do this. I would never hurt either of you and want only to help.

Sincerely, Robert K. Keller

Do you think he sorta senses that I might be fucking with his head? Does this deter him from asking for money anyway? Does the Pope shit in the woods?

Dear Sir,

Thanks for your concern but i don't know if We can go on with you because this joke is too much. Please if you want to send the money, you have to send it with my name Egobia Kamara Abidjan

thanks egobia.

Shit, I'm just trying to help his sis cop a buzz. So much for being a good Samaritan.

Dear Egobia,

I don’t understand your emails. I'm not joking, I'm just letting off a little steam after a hard day in the mills. Don't you want to save your sister? You have somebody willing to send pills or money and you act like you're trying to alienate me or something. Good God man, you should be thinking about your poor sister and how she could be majorly buzzed right now except that you are treating me like a pariah! For shame!

I will be happy to send you the money and you can just buy your own pills there, but I think our pills are much better. Can you even get OC-80's or Percs there? How much money will you need for your sister's pills? You never gave me any idea of the amount it will cost. Will $500 do? Or $1,000? You need to let me know these things, Egobia, if we're going to save your sister so she can get healthy and come to the United States and get a good job at Taco Bell.

Please let me know what I need to do next.

Sincerely, Robert K. Keller

The moron must have forgotten how to attach documents in the last five minutes.

Dear Sir,

May this mail find you well Amen.

Sir, you said that you are not joking with us but i want to be honest with you and i want you to be telling me the truth because this is the only thing that, my late father left for us.

Sir, please i don't know how much it will cost to buy the drug but i am begging you in the name of Almighty God to make sure that, you send any amount if it is $500 or 1,000 as you said to enbale the doctor start the treatment on her immediately.

Sir, please find the attached of the deposit slip and agreement letter that, the bank issued to my late father. please i did not see any picture and i will like to have your private telephone number.

Thanks Egobia Kamara

Let's see if Egobia is up on his military catch phrases.

Dear Egobia,

I just got your email and you say you didn't get the picture again! Dude, your email settings are not correct because I didn't get the documents you promised either. You said they were attached, but they were not. Perhaps you should get somebody who is moderatly less retarded than you to set your email settings. If you tell me what email program you are using, I will help you set it up, ya 'tard. Right now your email program is totally FUBAR.

I think you don't like me for some reason, Egobia. But that's OK. We shouldn't let the way we feel about each other stand in the way of your sister's pills. I can easily send you $500 this week and $500 next week. Will this be OK? Should I use Western Union or Moneygram? What text question do you want me to use? Also, depending on what kind of pills your sister likes, you'll get different amounts. Like here, Percodans go for about $3 each, so you should be able to score about 240 of them for a grand. Then OxyContin goes for about a buck a milligram, so you'll only be able to get, like, 30 pills and I don't think that'll last your sister very long. Hell, I do five or six of those in one day to keep a boss buzz going.

So, please let me know how to send the money and I'll get on it.

Sincerely,

Robert K. Keller

Guess not!

Dear Sir,

May this mail find you well. Thanks for your clear mail but i will like if you can send the money westner union money transfer or money gramm with my name Egobia Kamara as you promised.

Sir, please you have to know that,you people over there know more better than us and i don't know anything called FUBAR before. please be honest with us because you received the pictures that, i sent to you and your telling me that, you did not receive any documents that i sent to you yesterday meanwhile i am going to the hospital right now to see my younger sister mary if i comes back i will send the documents to you again.

Sir, i will also know if the bank has contacted you because they promised to contact you to day. Await for the money for the drugs.

Thanks and God bless Yours Egobia Kamara For the family.

Hell, I'll just send him pills AND money.

Dear Egobia,

I'm so sorry that Mary is in a coma. But, if she's in a coma, why are you going to the hospital? Here in the United Snakes, when someone is in a coma, they're put into auto-stasis and nobody is allowed in until the liquid hydrogen levels dissipate and that could take several weeks. Please explain. Also, please try to send the documents again. You're correct, I received your pictures but not the all important DOCUMENTS!

I'm sorry you didn't understand some of the things in my last email. FUBAR is the next level up from SNAFU. I'll try to be more clear about this kinda stuff in the future.

Listen, Egobia, I'm going to do two things:

1. I am going to send you $1,000 for your sister's pills cuz she's gonna probably wanna get majorly fried when she gets outta that coma.

2. I am going to mail you a bucket of pills, just in case you have a hard time scoring. There's nothing worse than waiting hours and hours for the man and then have him not show up. Especially when you're totally jonesing. I will mix Oxy's and Percs in a two to four ratio so that Mary can pick what kind of buzz she wants.

I will go to Western Union this afternoon, which will be in several hours and send the money and I will ship the pills UPS, if that's OK. Does UPS deliver in your area? On TV they say they'll go to frickin' Mongolia, so I'm sure they'll deliver to your neck of the woods.

Listen, Egobia, do you think you and your sister will be into some three-way action when you get to the U.S.? You'll get a lot of reach-arounds, I promise! Please tell me a little about your country and your village and where you live. Please let me know when you receive the Western Union money. I am praying for your sister to get well and ready for the three-ways.

Chin up, Egobia! Things will get better once you guys get to check out the rubber suits and leather straps and masks in my collection.

Sincerely, Robert K. Keller

I accidentally totally blow him off for a few days.

Dear Sir,

May this mail find you well Amen. Thanks for your concern and for your kindness towards this transaction and We pray may Almighty God guide and protect you in Jesus Name Amen.

Sir, We are from Sierra-Leone but right now we are in Abidjan where my late father deposited this money We want to transfer into your account over there in USA.

Sir, please have the bank reached you? please according to your last mail, you made us to understand that, you are going to send the money to us through Western Union yesterday afternoon but up till now i haven't receive any mail again from you please if you know that, you don't want to assist us let us know so that i will know what to do before my sister Mary dies.

Sir, please I am a God fearing and Honest person and i want you to trust me because We have impossed all our trust on you please do not betray us. Thanks and remain bless

Yours, Egobia Kamara, For the family.

And another.

DEAR SIR,

PLEASE I WILL LIKE TO KNOW IF THIS IS A JOKE OR NOT BECAUSE SINCE TWO DAYS NOW MY SISTER MARY IS VERY VERY SICK AND THE DOCTOR TOLD ME TO BE FASTER FOR HER DRUGS SO THAT THEY WILL START TREATMENT ON HER BECAUSE THE DRUGS THAT I BOUGHT HAS FINISHED.

THANKS YOURS, EGOBIA KAMARA, FOR THE FAMILY.

OK, OK, scam fans. I'll write to ol' Egobia tomorrow. I promise.

Dear Egobia,

I've been worried sick about your sister! Is she OK? Will she be able to take it up the poop chute soon? I am praying that this is the case. You haven't written back to me. For some reason you keep asking me if this is a joke. OF COURSE IT'S NOT!!!! Egobia, your sister's LIFE is at stake. How can one joke about something this serious. Please write me and let me know how she is. I still want to help you!

Sincerely,

Robert K. Keller

Think he may be getting suspicious.

Dear Robert K. Keller,

May this mail find you well.

Thanks for your mail but how can she be ok without any treatment please i have tryed my best to reaise some money but it is not enogh for her treatment,Robert K. Keller if you still want to save my sister's life that is good but if you dosn't want to save her as you promised that is good because i have leave everything to Almighty God because the God We are worshiping is that God that leed Israel from the red Sea and the same God will save her maybe by you or another person.

Robert K. Keller, the way you are sounding looks like joke, Robert K. Keller you promised us that you will send some money to us through western union money transfer and i told you to send the money with my name Egobia Kamara as you said that, you don't like the doctor name and according to the bank, you asked to contact their attachee atorney but since that time we haven't receive any mail from you.

Robert K. Keller please you have to write an Athurization that you are know more the beneficiary of the said fund and send it to the bank and recopy it to us for us to look for another person who is God fearing person and honest

Await for your urgent response May God bless you and your family. Egobia Kamara For The Family.

This guy has got to be the WORST scammer EVER!

Dear Egobia,

I cannot believe your allegations that I remain unconcerned about your poor sister's health. How dare you imply that I am churlish in any way. I would completely drop this entire matter if you were the sole partner because I am sick and tired of your insulting way, Egobia. You have repeatedly spoken to me in a manner that would easily result in a sound thrashing if you were in my country. Look, man, there's a precious young girl's life at risk here; why do you persist in insulting me? I've never done anything to you. I herewith demand a FULL APOLOGY from you before I release the funds to save your dear sister, with whom I would like to have many reach-arounds in the future. YOU are the one treating this as a joke, Egobia, not myself. I am the serious one here.

Angrily,

Robert K. Keller

That's what I like ... GROVEL!

Dear Sir,

May this mail find you well.

Thanks for your clear mail and i FULL APOLOGY to you in the name of Almighty God as you said please try as much as possiable to see that you send the money to save my sister as you promised.

thanks egobia kamara for the family.

Let's talk pills, Egobia.

Dear Egobia,

Thank you for your tardy apology. I suppose I must accept it, although I must admit I would have certainly appreciated a bit more groveling on your part. I first want to assure you that when you and your sister arrive in the United State, there will be a consumption of pills the likes of which the world has not seen since the 1986 Pill/Chainsaw Festival here in Benton! What do you think about THAT, my friend? My dear brother Egobia, I will give you and your sister many pills and will hopefully be able to thus feel your sister up while you nod. How's that sound to you, Egobia? As soon as you receive the money, please buy tickets to the United States immediately. I will certainly send you enough for a sandwich or something as well.

How is your sister doing? Hope she's much better and in the mood for some serious wang dang doodle.

Egobia, please have faith that I am your protector and baiter and that I will pound all pud to get the money to you and your fetching and hopefully felching sister.

Sincerely,

Robert K. Keller

He keeps harping on drugs when I've all along offered to supply him and his sister with all the pills they need. Ingrate!

Dear Sir,

please i don't understand why you are treating us like this, please it is because We are not your blood children or your brother and sister and now i will like you to send an invitation letter with my sister's name Mary Kamara so that she will take the kidney operation over there in USA please to be honest with you, i don't want to loose my sister.

Sir, everytime you keep on promising me that you will send some money to me to enable the doctor buy some drugs for her treatment but up till now you haven't done anything. await for your response thanks egobia kamara for the family.

Let's see how this Letter Of Invitation flies.

Dear Egobia,

Thank you for the recent email. All was completely understood. Please find beneath, the letter of invitation:

To Whom It May Concern,

This letter is to invite MARY KAMARA over to the United States in order that she will receive a kidney operation, take many pills, and perform such duties as will be required. May the officials in charge of this duly release MARY KAMARA into the custody of myself, ROBERT K. KELLER, for the purposes of licking the brown star.

ROBERT K. KELLER

Egobia, is that a good enough letter for Mary to be released into the United Snakes for her operation? Should I wait until she arrives here before releasing any money? I will meet her at the airport and I could easily give her a check or money order at that time. Please advise.

Sincerely,

Robert K. Keller

He had to get a DOCTOR to tell him I was joking.

Dear Sir,

Thanks for your kindness towards this transaction, I pray may Almighty God guide and protect you in Jesus Name We prayed Amen.

Sir, i took the letter to the doctor as you said and the doctor said that, Mary's condition is not advisable for her to fly that she need some treatment before she can fly please it seems that, i will stop sending mail's to ou because the doctor told us that, according to your mail that your are joking with us that how can you keep on promising her money to buy drugs bt p till now you haven't done any thing.

Thanks Egobia Kamara fOR THE FAMILY.

Time for the old 'Pit One Scammer Against Another' gambit.

Dear Egobia,

If you wish to stop corresponding with me then that's your choice. But I must inform you that to do so would put poor Mary in jeopardy. Is this what you wish? Please tell that "doctor" you spoke with that he's an idiot! I am insulted by his words, Egobia my friend. I was only trying to help by getting Mary into the United States. If you cease communication with me then Mary will not enjoy many significant bodacious buzzes and pharmaceutical experimentation. This would be very sad. Please let me know if you wish to stop communications with me as I have received another email from a young African who is in much the same situation as yourself and I will help him instead of you.

Sincerely,

Robert K. Keller

Damn, he gave up QUICK.

Dear Sir,

Thanks for your clear mail but after you will know that We are not joking with you please go ahead and help the young man

Thanks and God bless Egobia Kamara

I don't usually end 'em like this but, what the fuck.

Dear Egobia,

Tell you what you MUGU 419 SCAM ASSHOLE FUCK, I'll do better than that! I'll help myself by not sending you or your imaginary sister SHIT! How does that grab you, you thieving piece of shit? I've been on to you since the beginning and was purposely wasting your time. YOU ARE A DUMB ASS, Egobia. You're a LOUSY scam artist. You need to take some English lessons and get a different job. I am putting your emails on a special website that makes fun of idiots like you. Remember Egobia: THE WHOLE WORLD IS LAUGHING AT YOU!

Sincerely,

Robert K. Keller

I'll try for a rise one more time.

Dear Egobia,

MUGU! MUGU! MUGU!

Sincerely,

Robert K. Keller

Nope. Guess he's gone.