My Dearest Sister in Jesus’ Lambs of Moab,
Praise God almighty that Mr. Smith has sent me the form. I shall be getting my $18,500 back from the French authorities by this evening. I am going to rent a car and drive to Amsterdam, so I shall be there sometime tomorrow afternoon. But your email has confused me. You said that GOSD is in control of all case now. What organization is GOSD? Is that the new bank where the money is residing currently? You keep telling me different things, dear Luisa, and I sometimes worry that you are suffering oxygen deprivation to the brain. But do not worry if that is the case you are a SPECIAL person!
Luisa, I have been very shy in thinking about this but I want to ask you a question. When all our business is finalized, will you go out on a date with me?
With affection, Rev. Frank Dobbs
DEAR REV FRANK
I AM IN RECIPT OF YOUR MAIL
I WILL LIKE YOU TO ALWAYS KEEP ME INFORMED IN ALL SO AS FOR ME TO BE INFORMED!1
I WILL WANT O KNOW WHEN YOU ARRIVE AMSTERDAM JUST SEND ME A MAIL SO I WILL KNOW YOU ARE IN AMSTERDAM!
REGARDS, MRS ESTRADA
Attn:: Frank Dobbs,
I hope you are okey because i was surpose to hear from you yesterday , any success, are you reachable on phone? Looking forward to hearing from you soon, Kind regards,
J.Smith
Dear Mr. Smith,
I have been through SHEER HELL the past 24 hours. But all's well that ends well, because thanks to your purchase order I have gotten my money back from the Paris authorities. As it turns out, they were looking for a person named Dahbs, who is a Tunisian citizen and a suspected terrorist. This Dahbs apparently was seeking to blow up American landmarks in France, such as MacDonalds restaurants and Cup-O-Pizza kiosks, and was taped during telephone conversations attempting to purchase explosives in southern France. He was due to arrive on the same day as me and due to my name being so similar to his, I was immediately under suspicion. When they saw the extremely large sum of cash I had on my person they detained me. I suppose it was understandable and I'm glad they're fighting terrorism, but they kept me in a small room with a glaring light and loud Death Metal music blaring all night long as they questioned me. I am considering filing a lawsuit against the French authorities due to the mental anguish they subjected me to. The only thing I was allowed to eat was a jar of mustard and half a plate of cold prairie squid. They wouldn't even let me go to the bathroom and I ended up soiling my Bermuda shorts! I suppose I should add "public humiliation" to my list of offences.
Thank GOD, Mr. Smith, that you sent that purchase order for the tulip bulbs because this was the excuse I had given them in a state of raging panic. They were very suspicious at first and didn't believe me. Indeed, one agent, named LePew, accused me of all sorts of horrendous crimes against humanity and I kept praying and praying that your paper would come to me. When it did I was able to print it out and wave it in that Agent LePew's face with a smile of triumph. Mr. Smith I don't know how I shall ever be able to thank you. I asked you to do me a favor and you did it without hesitation and in perfect form. I have decided therefore that when our transaction in completed I am going to give you and your family a vacation to Disney World and a new SUV of your choice. I am also going to give you $500,000 (half a million!) from my portion of the transaction. And I won't take no for an answer, my friend. If not for you then I would still be sitting in a Paris jail with no money and no prospect of getting any. Not to mention that you have probably saved dear Luisa's precious life. I will, of course, never be able to thank you enough for what you did, but I will do my very best. You are the best type of friend I could ever have and I want you to know that I thank God every day that we have been able to become friends and that I would provide you with as many reach-arounds as you might wish.
I will be staying at the Hotel Nh Caransa on Rembrandplein 19 and should be getting into Amsterdam late this evening.
Mr. Smith, I am very nervous about carrying this much cash on me. Especially after my encounter with LePew and his bunch. Do you have a safe or vault or a secure place in which to keep my money until our transaction is completed? Could you meet me at my hotel and then I could follow you to your office and we could deposit the money in your safe until Saturday? Also, is there a Frop Uniterian Church in the vicinity, because I wish to attend Sunday services and I sincerely hope you will attend with me.
Again, Mr. Smith, I cannot thank you enough for everything you've done for Luisa and myself. By the way, do you have a wife and children? If you have children, how many? I would like to get your entire family a couple of little presents. I also think you will love your new laptop computer. I have pre-installed all the essential softwar along with a couple of surprises, including the Jenna Jameson Virtual B.J. (which is excellent, I might add!).
I am checking my email whenever I see a cyber café, so please let me know that you have received this email and that you can meet me at my hotel. Do you know where it is? I don't know how long it will take me to drive from Paris to Amsterdam, but I have rented a good car, a Volvo, and should be there this evening, hopefull in time for supper.
By the way, what ever happened to that perverted mongoloid Mr. Igho? I hope he has been flayed alive.
Sincerely, Rev. Frank Dobbs
Dear Sister in the Bloody Lambs of Christ-like Moab,
Praise the Lord, my dear sister. The authorities in Paris have released my $18,500 and I am on my way to Amsterdam. I have rented a car and will be driving most of the day I suppose. I have already informed Mr. Smth that I am en route. Luisa, if not for Mr. Smith I would still be rotting in a filthy, stinking Parisian jail, suffering the abuse of Tunisian homosexuals heroin addicts, Abdul and Sherman. It was HORRIBLE in there, my sweet Luisa. Those two Tunisians practically reamed me a new bunghole. But I just kept praying and chanting during this nightmarish episode. But Mr. Smith’s document effected my immediate release and I didn’t even have to pay any bribes to anybody. I should arrive in Amsterdam late tonight and I have asked Mr. Smith to meet me at my hotel and take my cash and put it in a safe place for the night. I am afraid of having that much cash on my person, especially after what happened in Frog Land (France). That’s what we call the French; FROGS.
And now Luisa, on to a subject that you have been avoiding for some reason. I have been a very lonely man in the priesthood and I have been thinking about you a lot, using up lots of towels and gym socks. So, like I have asked before, will you please go out on a date with me when you arrive in the United States. Just a date and dinner and nothing else apart from perhaps some very light petting. Certainly nothing beyond first base, unless you are approving and in the mood for bumping uglies. So please email me and let me know if you’ll go out on a date with me at some point in the near future. After all, we’re both going to be rich, so we might just as well celebrate.
Sincerely, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holey Spit,
Rev. Frank Dobbs
Attn:: Frank Dobbs,
I thank God that you finally made it i give God all the glory, i will be looking forward to meeting you at any time,just email me with the hotel infomation,such as hotel name, telephone number , and room number, or you can call my phone Cell 0627 287 306. i look forward to meeting you.
J.Smith
Dear Mr. Smith,
I have just received your email. I will be staying at the Hotel Nh Caransa on Rembrandplein 19, phone number 554-0800, as I mentioned before. I don't have my room number yet.
But Mr. Smith you have answered NOT ONE SINGLE QUESTION I asked you. In my country, when one is asked a question one is expected to answer it. It is considered extremely rude to not answer questions and I asked you several. Please go re-read the email and answer the questions. The most important question is security for my money. I am afraid of carrying that much cash on me with no protection. If you do not answer the question I am considering putting the money in a bank here in France and then using electronic transfer to get it into your bank. Also, you never answered the questions about your family so I can buy some presents as a token of my gratitude. But I'm slightly angry about you ignoring each and every question I asked. Why?
Sincerely, Frank Dobbs
WHAT IS THE WORD!!
DEAR FRANK
I AM IN RECIPT OF YOUR MAIL
I WILL LIKE TO TELL YOU THAT I AM WELL NOTED THAT YOU WILL BE TRAVELLING TO AMSTERDAM TONIGTH
PLEASE FRANK I WILL LIKE TO TELL YOU THAT I APPRECIATE ALL YOU HAVE DONE TO HELP THE NEEDY !!
MAY THE ALMIGHTY GOD BLESS YOU IN HIS NAMES!!
AS SOON AS YOU ARRIVE AMSTERDAM PLEASE TRY TO KEEP ME INFORMED THAT YOU HAVE ARRIVED!!
REV FRANK MAY THE GOOD LORD BLESS YOU IN HIS NAME
REGARDS
MRS ESTRADA
Dear Luisa, Sister in Christ’s Bloody Moably Lambs,
Thank you for your email, but I am slightly angry with Mr. Smith. I asked him several questions, especially about security, and he never answered ANY of my questions. I’m considering staying right here in Paris until he gives me some suitable answers. Do you know why he wouldn’t answer my questions, Luisa? It doesn’t make any sense.
And speaking of questions, you have NEVER answered my questions about us going out on a date. I think, since both of you are ignoring my questions, that this makes me very suspicious. I’m not moving forward until I get answers from both of you.
In the Lord’s Priapic Firmament,
Rev. Frank Dobbs
Attn:: Frank Dobbs,
I have a wife and two kids, and i have a safe place where your money can be kept, do not be afraid God is in control, i will call you for update , i call yesterday and i was told you have not arrive so stay in touch,
J.Smith
Dear Mr. Smith,
I am in Antwerp and I cannot move today. Perhaps it was something I ate in France. I knew I should not have tried the Prairie Squid out of season. I am simultaneously experiencing projectile vomiting and severe Hershey Squirts! It's been coming out of both ends for about two hours now. I am weak and dehydrated. Every time I attempt to take a drink of something I puke half way across the room. I've used four rolls of toilet paper thus far and my nether regions are scratched raw! Ulcerated anal fissure tissues in combination with puking enormous pulsating gobs of half-digested land-mollusk is unnerving to say the least. Seriously, my friend, I thought several times that I was about to breath my last and my hotel room smells like an abattoir. The stomach cramps and quarts of green mucus exploding from my mouth and nose are disgusting and painful. But I'm afraid to go to the hospital for fear they'll put me under anesthesia and then my $18,500 will be unguarded. So I've asked the maid if there was any possibility of obtaining a bottle of Laudanum. She's Nepali and these people know of such things. I must return to the commode now as I feel the gushing is about to commence once more. I apologize, but I have never been so sick in my life. Hopefully I won't be too dehydrated to drive on to Amsterdam tomorrow. I will need for you to obtain a number of pills for me, but I can't write any more now .. Must run to the bathr ... OOHH GOD! THAT'S DISGUSTING! I'm making myself even sicker by being sick!
Sincerely, Frank Dobbs
Attn:: Frank Dobbs,
I am begining to feel something is wrong,each time is a different story what actually is your problem i have made arrangement for us to see the firm today only to be told you cannot come to Amsterdam again, anyway if you have a number where you can be reach endeavour to leave it behind as i might be coming to Antwerp to meet you just tell me where you are and i will be there , i dont want to hear excuses again , If really you are sick as you said take it easy onyourself , i am begining to feel you are still in U.S.A because i cannot understand all this trouble, get back to me as soon as posible.
Kind regard, J.Smith
Attn :: Frank D,
I have been wondering what must be wrong because i have written you asking of the place you are and there was no response anyway i still believe you are in antwerp as you ealier said , so keep me inform as to your plans towards our meeting with the firm, i dont want to schedule an appointment and you will not be here, so be sure you are here at your given time. I look forward to hearing from you.
Kind regard, J.Smith
Dear Mr. Smith,
There is no need for you to come to Antwerp. I am feeling much better after having quaffed half a quart of Laudanum. Indeed, I haven't felt this good since those halcyon days of the late 60's when I would often purchase strange pills from complete strangers and knock them down with hurculean slugs of Boone's Farm Apple Wine. I am packing my things now and shall begin the drive from Antwerp to Amsterdam. I shall be leaving within the hour. Do you know how long it takes to drive that distance? I hope to be in Amsterdam by this evening. My hotel cancelled my reservation so I shall be staying at the Prinzenhoff, which is on Prinzengracht. You can call me there sometime this evening. Please email me and let me know you got this email because I shall be stopping along the way to use my laptop to check on progress.
Sincerely, Rev. Frank Dobbs
Dear Luisa,
I have not heard from you in many, many hours. I hope you’re not dead yet!
Sincerely, Rev. Frank Dobbs
Attn:: Frank Dobbs,
Irecieved your mail today being sunday, i will call you as soon as i know your whereabout, e.g hotel name, number and discription . Till i read from ypou stay bless,
J.Smith
Dear Mr. Smith,
Thanks for your email. All was well understood. I got tired after driving for several hours from Antwerp. I spent all last night puking and shitting and then puking some more from that prairie squid buffet I ate at. I just couldn't risk my own life or the lives of those innocent people around me by driving while being so tired. I am spending a few hours resting in Rotterdam. I've found a parking space near the wharf where there are the oddest looking apartment buildings. They look like huge boxes set at weird angles. There is a coffeeshop/internet café where I established an internet connection to send you this message. I shall sleep in my car for a few hours and then drive the rest of the way to Amsterdam. I told you I was staying at the Prinzenhoff Hotel. I will email you when I awaken and get back on the road. The people here drive CRAZY! I'm not used to having people drive so fast. I need to get a small bite to eat and then it's off to sleep. This coffeeshop has some delicious looking brownies in their display case. Perhaps I'll get a couple for my supper. It sure smells funny in here though!
With Jesus' Lambs of Moab,
Rev. Frank Dobbs
Attn:: Frank Dobbs,
I read your mail and the content well noted , but i must warn you again to be carefull not to run into police in the netherland because you are driving with a foreign number , so be warn, e mail me when you are here? i look forward to hear from you. Kind regard, J.Smith
Attn::Frank Dobbs,
Where are you, i am confuse,
J.Smith
Mr SmiTyh,
Heeeiy man!!!! Howare you today my vry lgud frind??? I am know in amsterdam and I decide to have one little bitty eensy weensy drinky and I have gave another rouds to the people here in this little bar they called the blarny stone her in amsterdam. I"M DRUNK AS THE LROD mr Smith!!! I just start to having one leetle beety whisky and turns into four then eight now im at the internet café acrost the streeet from this good good bar call the Blarney Stone.You ned to come over by here for a little drink, mr smith I buy you a little drink and we gone to seee thelittel girls in red lite distrit.these nice people tol me about smoking places where they have funnylelcigerets!!! I LVOE AMSTEDAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Serly, Frnk Dobbbs
Attn::Frank Dobbsn
I am Surprise at you !!!!! are you here because of Luisa or you are here for fun? Tell me where you are let me meet you and get things straighen away, i dont like your nonchalacy toward this whole thing have you forgotten that Luisa is very ill what if something happen now ?Her blood will hunt you for ever, I thought you said you are a Rev, how come you are living like this ? please let me know where you are otherwise i will write luisa and tell her to forget about you that you are not a seriuos person,
J.Smith
Dear Mr. Smith,
I don't know what to say. I am so ashamed. I have been drunk before God. I have cavorted with prostitutes. I have taken drugs and fornicated with women of ill repute. I have spread my seed amongst the whores of Babylon. I have blasphemed the name of the Lord. I have had sexual congress with midgets. I don't know what got into me. I blame Satan for this diversion from my straight path. GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN! I feel the call of repentence, my friend. I have sinned and now I must pay for the sins. Forgive me Mr. Smith. Forgive me Luisa. Pray for me, my friend. I can never face you or Luisa, for I have let you down in your moment of need. The only option I have now is suicide. I do not deserve to live. Farewell, my friend.
Rev. Frank Dobbs, sinner
My Dear Sister in Christ, Luisa,
Please forgive me, for I have sinned.
Sincerely, Rev. Frank Dobbs, sinner
Attn :: Frank Dobbs,
So i have been dealing with a fool, an imposture, a criminal, a murderer, , god will purnish your entire generation you shall never find peace, but finanly you will languish in hell on judgement day, for you have sin against God and humanity, Why not tell me you are in Europe instead of giving a fake information about flight , france , then finanly Amsterdam . God will forever punish your entire generation,rot in hell
what is the word
DEAR FRANK
I WILL LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU AT THE THIS POINT!!
AS I WILL LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU
REGARDS, MRS ESTRADA
Dear Sister in Christ, Luisa,
My dear sister, I believe that Mr. Smith has gone insane! Please explain why he would write to me this email:
******
Attn :: Frank Dobbs,
So i have been dealing with a fool, an imposture, a criminal, a murderer, , god will purnish your entire generation you shall never find peace, but finanly you will languish in hell on judgement day, for you have sin against God and humanity, Why not tell me you are in Europe instead of giving a fake information about flight , france , then finanly Amsterdam . God will forever punish your entire generation,rot in hell
******
I am sorry, but I cannot proceed with our transaction, nor can I send you any money until this man is eliminated. Please Luisa, explain to me why he would write such horrible things? Why does he call me a murderer? And why would he tell me to “rot in hell?” I have been doing my very best to offer you assistance in your plight and Mr. Smith has done nothing but incite me, call me names, accuse me of all kinds of horrible crimes and has done nothing but hinder our progress. Please tell me why you have this man. He is mad!
Sincerely, Rev. Frank Dobbs
Dear Mr. Smith,
I don't understand the bitterness and anger in your email. I am truly in Amsterdam and I have your money stored in a locker at Centraal Station. I have cleared my head and realized that suicide is not the answer. If you would like, I could meet you at Centraal Station and hand over the payment there, or you could come to my hotel room. And why did you accuse me of murder? I have never murdered anybody. I apologize for my foolish behaviour and merely wish to conclude our business transaction and save Luisa. Please let me know what you wish to do.
Sincerely, Rev. Frank Dobbs
THUNDERBIRD!
Dear Luisa,
Please let me know what you have gotten rid of that liar and obvious fraud Mr. Smith. I want only to deal with honest people. He is making up terrible lies about me and my family. Who can we deal with that will be more God-fearing? Please write back to me immediately. How is your health? I hope you’re not nearing the end.
Sincerely, in Christ’s name, Rev. Frank Dobbs
Attn:: Frank Dobbs,
I hardly trust or believe anything you say ,i am not the least interested in your money or gift what i require of you is simple and straight , if you are here for luisa, get the business concluded and leave, today is making the 8 day since you said you left U.S.A ask yourself what you have done instead one excuss or the orther, i have a lot to do as you are aware i am a lawyer i have my clients to defend, just like luisa,so if you want to continue i can only come take you to the firm and you will be done, otherwise i am not interested in your gift or money i am okey with my job,so if you are serious give me your hotel name ,tel no. and room i will send my driver to come and pick you to my office, bye for now till i hear from you.
J.Smith
DEAR FRANK
I AM IN RECIPT OF ALL YOUR MAILS
I WILL WANT YOU TO TAKE NOTE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN A GOOD MAN TO US!!
REGARDS
MRS ESTRADA
Dear Mr. Smith,
Thank you for your time and, again I apologize for losing my head during my first trip to Amsterdam. I think it was all the stress of worrying about Luisa, and some personal problems that I shall explain when we meet finally face to face, man to man. Will you be able to see me in the morning? It is 7 pm as I write this (at least I think I have set my watch correctly) and I would like to have a good night's rest before our meeting. I am staying with a friend that I met at the Blarney Stone. Her houseboat is located across from 810 Prinsengracht (very close by the Rembrandtsplein). When you turn left off Utrechtsestraat (tramline 4, coming from Centraal Station) onto Prinsengracht, it's the third houseboat. Marieka does not have a phone, but I shall be waiting on the deck at whatever time you tell me your driver will pick me up. I am an early riser so you can send your driver at any time of the morning. There is a small store one block down Utrechtsestraat that sells some marvelous pastries if you'd like me to bring you some. Again, Mr. Smith, I thank you for your forgiveness. Would your driver be able to take me by Centraal Station to retrieve my briefcase? I've been afraid of carrying it around town since I've been warned by Marieka of pickpockets and thieves.
Sincerely, Frank Dobbs
THUNDERBIRD!
Dear Sister in Christ, Luisa,
I am giving that arrogant mongoloid, Mr. Smith, one more chance to conclude this business deal and then I am going back to the United States and you can find someone else. Mr. Smith has insulted me and you never explained why. You NEVER answer ANY of my questions, which makes me very suspicious. I agreed to meet Mr. Smith in the morning to hand over the payment and he never wrote me back. I have traveled all the way to Amsterdam, I have been arrested in Paris, I have gotten food poisoning in Antwerp. I don’t need all this heartache, Luisa, as much as I want to help you. And I also asked you to go out on a date with me and you never answered. I am sick and tired of being treated in this fashion.
Angrily, Rev. Frank Dobbs
Attn::Frank Dobbs,
I was at prinsengracht and num,810 is a hotel, can you specify exactlly where you will be , i will pick you up by 2 to 3 pm on the dot, reply as quickly as posible, or you can call my phone for easy location, i await your respone.
J.Smith
Attn:;Frank Dobbs,
I have written two mail to you and no response and to talk of it all you have been wasting my time , i dont want to get angry, if you think you are here for this transaction do notify your whereabout otherwise i assume case close, and i will not want to recieved any other mail from you, as to you nefarious activity, if you are here for a transation you will know what to do , there is vatually nobody in the Netherland that has no telephone, even junkies have, so if you want to do business with me be straight, i honestly dont want you to waste my time in looking for you or else i will report this case to the police nad they will be on the look out for you,
J.Smith
Dear Mr. Smith,
I am becoming very frustrated in dealing with you. I have been waiting now all morning because you said you would pick me up and you have never showed up. You have been insulting and acting like a fool. What is your problem, Mr. Smith? Why are you treating me like this? Did your mother drop you on your head when you were a child? You are acting like a brain-damaged mongoloid. I do not appreciate your attitude. I have spent a lot of money attempting to assist Luisa Estrada and traveling to Europe and leaving my congregation. I have been arrested in Paris, suffered food poisoning in Antwerp and now you say you will pick me up and I waited until I became very angry with you. I am going to write Mrs. Estrada suggest she fire you and employ someone who is more competent. I have given up waiting for you and am going to Centraal Station to retrieve my briefcase. When Mrs. Estrada informs me who her new representative is then I shall give him the payment. I suggest you get some psychological help and perhaps anger management classes and medication, Mr. Smith. I must forgive you because I am a God fearing Christian, but I would like to smack you upside the head a couple of times. I used to be a boxer and I could easily stomp your head in a mudhole. And as far as your threats of sending the police after me, I have done nothing illegal you idiot. I am going to wait here for only 30 more minutes and if neither you nor your alleged driver shows up to take me to your office then I will get on Tram 4 and go to Centraal Station. Seriously, Mr. Smith, please get some psychiatric help and quit acting like a douche bag. I've never met such an ignorant homo as yourself. And do not ever suggest that I am a junkie again or I shall be forced to ask you to step outside for some fisticuffs. I demand a full apology from you, sir, or I shall email Luisa immediately.
Sincerely, Rev. Frank Dobbs
THUNDERBIRD!!!
Dear Luisa,
I have been insulted by Mr. Smith and he promised to pick me up this morning and never showed up. I am sick and tired of dealing with this faggot. And, more importantly, you have NEVER answered my question about us going out on a date. If you persist in ignoring my questions then you can forget about our deal and I shall take my money and return to the United States. If you don’t want to answer my question, then please never email me again.
Sincerely, Rev. Frank Dobbs
Dear Luisa, My Dearest Sister in Christ,
Why have you not written me? I have decided that the best plan is to send the money to you directly. Please let me know if you have fired that asinine Mr. Smith yet. And also PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know if you’ll go out on a date with me. I am so very lonely.
Sincerely, Frank Dobbs
Dear Mr. Smith,
If you have destroyed this transaction, and Luisa suffers for it then YOU will be the murderer, not me. Her blood will rest on YOUR head FOREVER!!!! I am waiting for Luisa to email me and let me know that she has fired you. You are a brainless mongoloid TURD and a reprehensible dipshit who mates frequently with BABOONS! I will personally see to it that you are arrested and thrown in PRISON if anything should happen to that dear lady, Luisa Estrada.
Angrily, Frank Dobbs
Frank Dobbs,
I know you will apologise for all this insult,i know luisa, instead she will beg me to assist you, look i have all the lagal document that will enable you get things done, so if you are here be reasonable enough to disclose your location simple i am ready to help you but you are to busy with life in amsterdam , when you are ready let me know otherwise i will make you to go and come back.
J.Smith
Dear Mr. Smith,
Not until you apologize to me first, you jit-bag wombat felching poot-snarfer.
Sincerely, Rev. Frank Dobbs
FrankI have written you and no response, if you are here for Luisa do as she advise, i will do all i can to see you today, so make an appoitment and let me know i will be checking my mail every 1hrs lets see who is telling lies, I await your respose,
J.Smith
Where are you again , i am close to you, get back to me as soon as posible
Dear Mr. Smith,
Not until you apologize to me first you vomitous gaggle of pre-spewed fecal debris.
Sincerely, Rev. Frank Dobbs
DEAR FRANK
I AM IN RECIPT OF YOUR MAIL
I WILL LIKE TO TELL YOU THAT I AM READY TO DO ALL THINGS TO HELP MY WHOLE FAMILY FROM THIS
FRANK I HAVE THE BELIVE THAT YOU ARE NOT READY TO HELP ME TO THIS AS WE ARE READY TO COME AND LIVE THERE IN AMERICA
I WILL LIKE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE WAISTING OUR TIME TO THIS AS YOU HAVE SAID MR SMITH SHOULD COME TO MEET YOU AT A POINT AND THERE WAS NO ADDRESS THERE SO FRANK REMENBER THAT YOU ARE A MAN OF GOD BUT IF YOU STILL INSTINT OF GOING OUT WHIT ME OK I WILL DO!!
FRANK I AM GIVING YOU TWO DAYS TO CLAIM OUR FUNDS NOT FOR YOU TO BE JOKEING AROUND WITH ALL OF US
WHU CAUSE WE ARE GOING TO LOOK FOR ANOTHER PERSON TO HELP US OUT ON THIS AND YOU WILL LOSS THE WHOLE OF YOUR % TO THIS
REGARDS, MRS ESTRADA
THUNDERBIRD!
Dear Sister in Christ Luisa,
I’ve been wanting to tell you that ever since I heard from you I have been thinking about you every day and every night. I thank you for saying you’ll go out on a date with me. I assure you that you won’t regret it. Are you interested in doing it? Listen, that man Mr. Smith has been completely pissing me off and not answering any of my questions. I want to help you more than anything because I think I really like you a lot. I hope that this is not embarrassing to you, my dear one. Where can we meet up at? And when are you going to fire Mr. Smith before I kick his sorry ass?
Sincerely, Frank Dobbs
Attn:: Frank Dobbs,
I have waited for your respose uptill now no response, are you still ready to help Luisa?? i am work free today so fix an appointment and wait at the spot i will be there lets have a table talk and arrange on how you will conclude the transation, Think of what brought you here and pity the condition of the lady in question, i thought you said you are a Rev , dont you know how to forgive, honestly i was not expecting this whole thing to turn out the way it is now. i was having a very high esteem for you as a man of God, that is the more reason i allowewd Luisa to allow you handle the whole thing on her behalf, i await your response,
J.Smith
DEAR frank
I AM IN RECIPT OF YOUR MAIL
I WILL LIKE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE STILL MY SOLE BENEFICIARY TO MY FUNDS NO MATTER WHAT IS GOING ON WHIT YOU AND SMITH
HE IS ANGRY BEACUSE OF THE TIME YOU HAVE MADE HIM TO WAIST TO THIS
I WILL LIKE YOU TO MAKE A DATE TO MEET WHITH HIM SOON AS YOU HAVE TOLD ME THAT YOU WILL HELP ME TO THIS
PLEASE FRANK I WILL WANT YOU TO MAKE IT NO MATTER ANY COST AS YOU WILL REMOVE IT FROM MY FUNDS AFTER CLAIMS
REGARDS, MRS ESTRADA
Dear Mr. Smith,
OK. Yes I want to help Luisa. Why do you think I've spent all this money traveling to Amsterdam? Do you know where The Blarney Stone is? It's an Irish Pub and we can meet there. Just let me know what time is best for you.
I was awaiting your email and never got it so I took a Canal boat cruise with Marieka. Then I went to the Van Gogh Museum because I love that man's art. I am currently at a cybercafe on the Leidseplein, but I will come to the Blarney Stone whenever you wish.
Sincerely, Frank Dobbs
THUNDERBIRD!
My Dear Sister in Christ, Luisa,
Please, my dear, I have waited for Mr. Smith to write me and have just now got his email. We are to meet at the Blarney Stone this evening if he’ll respond. How is the weather in Denmark?
Sincerely, Frank Dobbs
Attn::Frank Dobbs,
it is nice you have put the past to rest, can you describe where this pub is then i can locate it, then we can fix an appointment for tomorrow, 10 am being 5th of april i will look for the pub, i awiat your response.
J.Smith
ATTN"::Frank Dobbs,
I have checked with my appointment i will locate the bar if you tell me where it is and i will be there by 11am on the dot i will write your name on a papper then you can recognise me, till then have a nice eveining.
J.Smith
Dear Mr. Smith,
The Blarney Stone is on Nieuwendijk 29. It's only about a few minutes from Centraal Station. It's a great little pub and I really like this girl, Marieka, who goes there a lot and that's who I'm staying with at the house boat on Prinsengracht. I'll see you there at 11 am on Monday morning, just like you said.
Sincerely, Rev. Frank Dobbs
Attn:: Frank Dobbs,
I am at the at Irish pub as you sugested and you are not there what happend? i will be there till 12noon waiting for you,
J.Smith
Dear Mr. Smith,
I waited there for you and you never showed up, so I went across the street to the cyber café to email you and ask you what the hell is going on. I can see from here across the street to the Blarney Stone and watched for you. Did you go all the way back to the rear tables? When you walk in there, the bar is to the left and all the way past the bar there are some tables behind it, near the entrance to the bathroom. That's where I was sitting. I had on a pink shirt, green striped pants and leather boots with fringes on them. There's no way you could have missed me. I got hungry now and have gone to get a brownie and coffee at Homegrown Fantasy on Nieuw Zidjz Voorgburvaal. I'll probably be there for awhile and then come back to the Blarney Stone.
Sincerely, Rev. Frank Dobbs
THUNDERBIRD!
Dear Sweet Luisa,
I have waited for Mr. Smith at our agreed upon meeting location and he never showed up. So I crossed the street to the cyber café to email him and he has not answered. Why do you persist in retaining this cretin? He is an abomination upon the face of mankind. He is a brainless moron. Please fined someone else to deal with me. I am wasting time and money here in Amsterdam and must return to the United States soon in order to take care of my congregation. Can I please come up to Denmark to see you? We could go out on a date then and perhaps I could get to second or even third base with you? I am thinking of you day and night. Especially at night! You are the peen worm of my sphincter. Please let me know about our date. And please rid us of the mongoloid Mr. Smith.
Sincerely, Rev. Frank Dobbs
Attn:: Frank Dobbs,
I was there 11am on the dot, i waited for 1 hr and you were no were around, so how come you are now saying you were there , i am begining to be ceptical with your words, i dont think you are in the Netherlands, because if you are in amsterdam there is no way you can not get to that place within an hr,SO if you are sure of what you are saying be there 11 am tomorrow, if you are not there case close, i will assume you never came, Loooking forward to hearing from you
J.Smith
Dear Mr. Smith,
Look here, you dumb shit, I was there at 11 pm on the DOT! In fact I stayed there until they closed at 2 am. Therefore I waited for you for FOUR HOURS! How come you wanted to meet me so late at night anyway? I would think that a businessman would want to do business during the day. I have to get back to the United States very soon. If you're not there tomorrow night like you say, then I'll assume that you're a fraud and I will tell Luisa to hire another person who actually has some brains.
Angrily, Frank Dobbs
DEAR FRANK
I WILL LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IS YOUR PRESENT POSITION NOW AS I AM NOW BECOMING WORRIED ABOTH ALL THIS TRANSACTION AS I WILL LIKE YOU TO KEEP ME UPDATED AS I WILL WANT YOU TO CONTACT ME SOON
REGARDS, MRS ESTRADA
Dear Sweet Luisa,
My present position is horizontal. I wish that you were positioned beneath me in fact. Will this be possible during out planned date? When will we be able to go out on out date anyway? And you wrote to me and acted like I haven’t even been in contact with you. Are you moderately retarded or slow on the uptake, or what? Between you and Mr. Smith I feel as thought I’ve been dealing with the idiot factory. What do you mena “contact me soon?” I’ve already contacted you my dear and wish to bed you forthwith. How does this sound to you, my dear Sister in Christ? Do you wish to bump uglies with me or what? I can’t wait to hide the salami!
Yours truly, Rev. Frank Dobbs
Attn:: Frank Dobbs,
Something is not wright here i think we are done with your deal, i was there 11am as you requested and you are here talking of 11 pm how do you expect us to meet that late when you know i am a family man, so my advise is that you have to go back while we take our time to get the whole thing done , as for my coming to meet you again is out of the question so bye bye,
J.Smith
Dear Mr. Smith,
You are going to end this transaction because of a simple mistake? I sincerely thought you said PM. Anybody can make an error such as this. I will be in Amsterdam for two more days. You tell me where you want to meet and I'll be there. I apologize for the mistake, but in this town I am all mixed up and still having jet-lag. So you tell me a place because I have a map and can find any address. You must do this for Luisa's sake.
Sincerely, Frank Dobbs
THUNDERBIRD!
Dear Luisa, Sister in Christ,
I just received an email from the mongoloid dipshit, Mr. Smith. He said he is canceling our transaction because of a mistake in meeting times. I think you should fire his sorry ass and hire somebody more competent. And you never mentioned about first, second or third base on our date? I’d at least like to cop a feel, if that’s OK with you. Please tell Mr. Smith to either send me a new meeting time and place or jump into a canal and drown.
Sincerely, Rev. Frank Dobbs
DEAR FRANK
I WILL LIKE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE VERY SERIOUS TO HELP ME THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU ARE A MAN OF GOD !! I BELIVE AND TRUST IN YOU!!
I WILL LIKE TO TELL YOU THAT I WILL LIKE O COME TO MEET YOU WHERE YOU ARE SO AS FOR US TO SEE FACE TO FACE
AS I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND 5.000 EUROS TO ME AS I AM VERY WORRIED ABOUTH YOU
I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND TO THIS INFO !!
NAME:SONIA GODWIN
AMSTERDAM,NETDERLANDS
IN YOUR NEXT MAIL I WILL WANT TO RECIVE THE CONTROL NUMBERS
REGARDS
MRS ESTRADA
Dear Sweet Luisa,
Of course I will give you 5,000 Euros. That would be infinitely preferable to handing all my money to the dipshit, Mr. Smith. But if you’re in Amsterdam, I’m already here! We should just meet up in person and go out on a date and then roll in the hay. Let me know when we can get together and DO IT!!!
Sincerely, Rev. Frank Dobbs
frank
that is all i can do bye
My Dearest Luisa,
Please, my sister, I implore you not to abandon me. This attachment will prove that I am a man of God and am a man of my good word. I was hoping that you would fire that miscreant poopchute reamer, Mr. Smith, whom I shall smite when I next lay eyes on him. Please find attached the Western Union receipt for the $7,000 that I have sent to Sonia Godwin. Only, please tell me who is this Sonia Godwin. I hope she is not related to that wombat fellator, Mr. Smith. Please let me know when you receive this receipt and when we can go out on the date and get forthwith between the sheets for some serious wang-dang doodle.
Sincerely, Rev. Frank Dobbs
Subject: BYE FOREVER
MY DEAR MAN OF SCAM
I WILL LIKE TO NOTE YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT A MAN OF GOD SO NOW I BELIVE THAT YOU ARE A SCAM STAR NOT TRYING TO HELP ME BUT TRYING TO ABSCONED WITH MY FUNDS
YOU ARE NOT IN HOLLAND NOR YOU HAVE EVER TRAVELLED OUTSIDE YOUR BUSH COUNTRY
GO TO HELL AS YOU MUST SURLY DIE WITH THIS SIN
REGARDS
Frank Dobbs <frankdobbs13013@hotmail.com> wrote:
>Dear Mr. Smith, > >The Blarney Stone is on Nieuwendijk 29. It's only about a few minutes from >Centraal Station. It's a great little pub and I really like this girl, >Marieka, who goes there a lot and that's who I'm staying with at the house >boat on Prinsengracht. I'll see you there at 11 am on Monday morning, just >like you said. > >Sincerely, > >Rev. Frank Dobbs
THIS IS THE MAIL YOU SENT ON SUNDAY THE 4TH AND NOW YOU SAID YOU WERE THERE AT 11PM INSTEAD OF 11AM HOW COME? AND YOU REQUESTED FOR ANOTHER APPOINTMENT YESTERDAY WHICH I SCHEDULE FOR TODAY 11AM AND UPTILL NOW YOU HAVE NOT RESPONDED I WILL FORWARD THIS MAIL TO LUISA SO THAT SHE CAN BE AWARE OF WHAT I AM PASSING THROUGH IN YOUR HAND. J.SMITH
when you are ready call me on my cell phone 0627287306
Dear Mr. Smith,
Sorry, but I shall not be calling you EVER! Here is the insulting letter I just received from Luisa Estrada:
MY DEAR MAN OF SCAM
I WILL LIKE TO NOTE YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT A MAN OF GOD SO NOW I BELIVE THAT YOU ARE A SCAM STAR NOT TRYING TO HELP ME BUT TRYING TO ABSCONED WITH MY FUNDS
YOU ARE NOT IN HOLLAND NOR YOU HAVE EVER TRAVELLED OUTSIDE YOUR BUSH COUNTRY
GO TO HELL AS YOU MUST SURLY DIE WITH THIS SIN
REGARDS
I am taking my money and going home unless I get an IMMEDIATE apology from this disgusting woman.
Sincerely, Frank Dobbs
THUNDERBIRD!
Dear Luisa,
What is the meaning of your foul missive? Did you not receive the Western Union money order I sent to you yesterday? That’s $7,000, no small amount, my dear. And what about our date?
Confusedly, Rev. Frank Dobbs
Dear Mr. Smith,
How about meeting me in Rotterdam tomorrow at noon? Let me know, bro.
Sincerely, Rev. Frank Dobbs
FUCK OFF ASSHOLE
J.SMITH
Dear Luisa,
Does this mean you won’t go out on a date with me?
Sincerely, Rev. Frank Dobbs
Dear Mr. Smith,
If Rotterdam is too far away, perhaps we could meet in Den Hague? Do you think Luisa will still go out on a date with me?
Sincerely, Frank Dobbs
Look Frank i dont want you to write me anymore you are a drunker i think you should stick your dick in your ass
Dear Mr. Smith,
If you don't want to meet me in the Netherlands, that's fine. One time you said you'd meet me in Antwerp. How about if we do that and I can give you the money there? You never mentioned whether or not you thought Luisa would go out on a date with me. See you in Antwerp?
Sincerely, Frank Dobbs
GO AND FUCK YOUR MOTHER, DO YOU HAVE MONEY ? YOU ARE A BLOODY ROGUE, GOD WILL PUNISH YOU FOR WASTING MY TIME
Dear Mr. Smith,
Listen man, I'm really, really sorry about all the misunderstanding. How can we salvage this transaction? Would you like to meet me at the statue in Dam Square? I'll buy you lunch.
Sincerely, Frank Dobbs