Anti Fraud Sule

Purty fuckin' official, eh?

Dear Mr. Sule,

Please do not be angry with me about asking for your credentials. It’s just that since I had $9,000 stolen from me I am so scared about everything. I have had to go get psychiatric help because I’ve been unable to eat or sleep and have been having severe erectile dysfunction. When you assist a person in regaining their stolen money is it possible also to sue the 419 scammer defrauder in court as well to get pain and suffering? Is it required that I come to Nigeria for court? I would do anything to put that bastard in front of a firing squad. Do you have the death penalty there for 419 scammers? I would help shoot the son of a bitch!

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Yup, I'm pissed off alright.

Dear Frank,

Now you know that we are here to help those who have beed scammed to get there money back from those 419 scammers. Do not worry over coming down to Nigeria to make him face firing squad, there is a penalty for them to face here which is more than firing squad. Now all you are interested in is how to get your money back.

So provide me with the details i asked of you if you know that you really want to get your money back ok. Thanks.

Anti-fraud Police.

Mr Sule

I think I'll blame the whole thing on ..... MRS. ABACHA!!!!!!

Dear Mr. Sule,

Here are the details of my theft. The person’s name was Miriam Abacha. Her email address is m_abacha@fsmail.com. She stole $9,000 from me in three different payments of $3,000 each. First she told me that there was a storage fee where she had some family valuables stored and she would pay me quite a bit of money if I helped her get them out. Then I had to pay another $3,000 for a lawyer named Barrister Suliman. Then another $3,000 because she said she got in trouble with some government official and had to bribe him. I told her I wouldn’t pay any more money and she quit writing me.

My bank is: Bank of the Ozarks in Benton, Arkansas, U.S.A.

My address is: 4 Wheel Drive, Benton, AR, 74235, U.S.A.

You can’t call me right now because I am driving out to California to borrow $2,500 from my Mom to pay my rent and stuff since I lost all my own money to that thieving asshole Miriam Abacha!

Do you need me to send you the email headers of her emails to me so you can trace her? Do you think she’ll go to prison and get put on death row? I’ll testify by long-distance if I have to.

Please, do you really think I can get my money back?

Also, I don’t have a passport with me, can I send you a scan of my driver’s license instead?

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Damn! He's already got my money back!!! Sule rules!

ATTN: SIR,

I HAVE MADE INVESTIGATIONS AND ENQUIRY ON HOW YOUR FUNDS WILL BE PAID.

YOUR PAYMENT HAVE BEEN FORWARDED TO THE BTCI ( BANQUE TOGOLAISE POUR LE COMMERCE ET L'INDUSTRIE) LOME TOGO.

SO YOU HAVE TO CONTACT THE NIGERIA OFFICE BANK IMMEDIATELY TO RECIEVE YOUR PAYMENT BY ONLINE TRANSFER.

THEIR GENERAL WEBSITE IS www.btci-tg.net NIGERIAN OFFICE PHONE: 234-1-2900493 FAX: 234-1-7598941 EMAIL ADDREES: btci@xmsg.com OFFICER IN CHARGE: MR JAMES COONER

THEREFORE ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CONTACT THEM WITH YOUR IDENTITY AND RECONFIRM YOUR CONTRACT DETAILS TO THEM.

AS SOON AS YOU GET ANY RESPONSE FROM THE BANK, INFORM ME SO THAT I SHALL BE AWARE OF SITUATIONS.

THANKS

Anti-fraud Police. Mr Sule

I contact scammer number 2.

Dear Mr. Cooner,

I have been in contact with the brilliant Mr. Sule about getting the $9,000 back that was stolen from me by Miriam Abacha. He said to contact you and that my funds were going to be put in a special banking account. How do we proceed. Also, since several people here have decided to file a class action lawsuit against the thief Abacha, can you please recommend a good lawyer for us to pursure this action? How much would a lawyer cost and how much money would we have to send to retain one? We don't want this terrible Abacha woman to steal from anybody else and want her put into prison and all of us to get our money back. Thank you so very much!

Mr. Sule asked me to contact him as soon as I hear from you but I don't know what documents you might need or which ones he might need as well. Can you provide these answers for me and the members of my class action suit as well?

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

I like to keep Anti-Fraud Sule abreast of proceedings.

Dear Mr. Sule,

I have contacted Mr. Cooner but he hasn’t responded. Please tell me what to do. I simply must get my money back or I don’t know what will happen. Why hasn’t Mr. Cooner written to me yet?

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Hmmmm, it'll only cost me $2,900 to get my $9,000 back. Sounds like a deal!

DEAR FRANK DOBBS,

YOUR MONEY SHALL BE RECOVERED AND THE FRAUDSTER WILL BE PUT IN PRISON,

IT WILL COST YOU US$2,900 TO GET A VERY GOOD LAWYER AND THIS LAWYER WILL DO EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO HELP GET YOUR MONEY BACK IN LINE WITH MR SULE

IF YOU ARE READY TO GET THE LAWYER, THEN INFORM ME SO THAT I WILL TELL YOU HOW TO SEND THE MONEY.

THANKS

MR JAMES COONER

We're scammin' now!

Dear Mr. Cooner,

Thank you so much for writing back to me. Will this $2,900 guarantee that I get my money back? Mr. Sule told me that it was already in the bank. If I went in with a few other people, could we hire the lawyer at a discount? Say, if five of us hired the same lawyer and offered him $5,000, do you think we could do that? That way we would each only pay $1,000 but the lawyer would make $5,000. I would, of course, pay the money to get my $9,000 back, but please see if we could get a discount if five people hired the same lawyer.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Guess they don't do group rates.

DEAR FRANK,

IT IS ALL MAN FOR HIMSELF, YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE PAYMENT OF US$2,900 IMMEDIATELY TO SAVE TIME.

I SHALL SEND YOU AN OFFICIAL GUARANTEE IF YOU WANT. BUT IF YOU HAVE ONLY 1,000$, YOU CAN SEND IT, I WILL SURETEE YOU THAT YOU WILL PAY THE BALANCE AFTER YOU GET YOUR MONEY.

REPLY SOON SO THAT I WILL ADVICE YOU ON HOW TO SEND IT.

THANKS

MR JAMES COONER

What a concept! Doing something immediately in order to save time. I'll have to remember that one.

Dear Mr. Cooner,

Thank you again for your rapid response to my email. You and Mr. Sule both know that many, many people have been robbed by these repugnant reprobate scumbag shit-snarfing rhino-felching thieves. I have been looking at a 419 victim website and I have communicated with many people who, like me, have lost their money to these assholes. Excuse my language, but I am very, very angry. Thank God that there are people like you and Mr. Sule who will help us get our money back and put these douche bags in prison or in front of a firing squad where they belong.

Please, Mr. Cooner, I have already spoken with 18 people who have lost up to $25,000. One gentleman is being forced to prostitute himself to make his house payment. Can you imagine?? I have gotten all these people together and they are all willing to pay $1,000 each for the services of a lawyer retained by yourself and Mr. Sule. I think that an attorney would be willing to represent all of us in a class action lawsuit. His fee would be $18,000. Please let me know if I can go ahead with this plan. Please let me know the name of the attorney because I would like to communicate with him directly. I am being the clearing house on this suggestion and I would gather the money from the other victims and send it to the attorney. Please let me know, Mr. Cooner. This would save me and all the other victims a lot of money. Thank you for helping us.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

OK. This is one STUPID FUCKING MUGU! He turns down eighteen grand!

DEAR FRANK,

LIKE I SAID, SEND YOUR US$1,000 AND FORGET ABOUT THE OTHER PEOPLE'S FOR NOW. THE MONEY SHOULD BE SENT VIA WESTERN UNION TO THE FOLLOWING,.

RECIEVER'S NAME: ARINZE IHEME

ADDRESS: BTCI QUATERS LAGOS NIGERIA.

TEXT QUESTION: WHY

ANSWER: LEGAL

THE LAWYER'S CONTACT IS 23417767597

HIS EMAIL IS drarinze76@yahoo.com YOU CAN HAVE THE OTHER PEOPLE CONTACT HIM INDIVIDUALLY.

THANKS

MR JAMES COONER

Looks like I'm going to have to contact scammer number 3 pretty soon.

Dear Frank,

If you really know that you want to get your money back, you should try and comply with Mr Cooner, because he is the only person that can refund your money back to you. Also you should know that there are some neccessary steps you need to take to get your money back because it will be on our board that you have received your money back. So if he has not contacted you yet, you get in touch with him and i will also get in touch with him too. So do that fast. Thanks.

Anti-fraud Police.

Mr Sule

Naturally, I'm a bit suspicious of Arinze Iheme.

Dear Mr. Sule,

I’m afraid that Mr. Cooner is being somewhat oblique in our suit to get me my money back that was stolen by that bitch Mrs. Abacha. He told me I must now send a payment to: RECIEVER'S NAME: ARINZE IHEME. Do you know this person? As you can imagine, I am so very scared and frightened of sending any more money to Africa, especially to a person whom I do not know. I have never heard of this person and this is just the way things looked when I lost my first $9,000. Please, Mr. Sule, do you know who Arinze Iheme is? Please investigate this person so that I may be comfortable sending any money to him. Or is it a her? I don’t understand all these African names at all. How much would a quick investigation cost me? I would be happy to pay you a few hundred dollars to quietly investigate Arinze Iheme so that we can both be certain this is a legitimate person.

Thank you for understanding, Mr. Sule.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Not to forget Mr. Cooner.

Dear Mr. Cooner,

I tried to email that Arinze fellow you spoke of but the email keeps getting returned to me. This makes me very nervous. This is how I seemed to have lost my initial $9,000. Who is this person? I need to know that it is the right person and that I will not lose my money a second time. It’s not that I do not trust you, Mr. Cooner, but I don’t know who to trust any more. I’m so afraid.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Sule's protecting me! He's going to investigate Arinze. Wonder what the result will be?

Dear Frank,

I got your mail and am happy that you contacted me first in this kind of issue. So you have to wait so that i can go and investigate on this properly so that you will not send money to the wrong person, then if it is real i will get back to you in the next 24 hours. Thanks.

Anti-fraud Police. Mr Sule

Meanwhile, back to Mr. Cooner.

DEAR FRANK,

DR ARINZE IS A VERY GOOD LAWYER.

HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS : drarinze76@yahoo.com

HIS PHONE NUMBER IS 2348036690002

HIS FAX NUMBER IS 23417592206

COUNT ON MY WORD BECAUSE I AM A HONEST MAN AND THE ANTI FRAUD PEOPLE CAN TESTIFY TO THIS.

THANKS

MR JAMES COONER

SURPRISE!!!

HI FRANK,

I HAVE INVESTIGATED AND I FOUND OUT THAT ARINZE IHEME IS GENUINE. SO I GUARANTEE THAT YOU GO AHEAD AND MAKE THE PAYMENT TO HIM.

TRUST ME .

THANKS, MR SULE

I must reward the diligent Mr. Sule.

Dear Mr. Sule,

Thank you my friend for doing this investigation. I am very much more comfortable now that I know in my heart that Mrs. Abacha will soon be doing 20 to life in the state penitentiary. I told you that I would pay you for the investigation and I am a man of my word. Please let me know how much it is and send me the bill and I will pay you. Thanks again, I am so happy that these criminals are finally being prosecuted. Can you tell me if Mrs. Abacha has been arrested yet? Did they find my money in her banking account?

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

I let Mr. Cooner know what's up.

Dear Mr. Cooner,

Thank you for the email. I have hired Mr. Sule to investigate Dr. Arinze because I am so very afraid of losing more money in Africa. Mr. Sule’s investigation is now complete and he told me that Dr. Arinze is a completely honest person. It is Saturday here now and the Western Union office won’t be opened until Monday morning, so I will send the money order on Monday. Thank you again, both you and Mr. Sule, for helping poor people like me get our money back. Please tell me if you know if Mrs. Abacha has been arrested and put in jail. Did they find my money in her banking account? Please, do you want the email addresses of the other people who have had money stolen by Mrs. Abacha. I’m sure they could use your help too.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Now to write Dr. Arinze.

Dear Dr. Arinze,

I have been communicating about the $9,000 that Mrs. Abacha has stolen from me and Mr. Sule, the brilliant fraud investigator, has told me that I should contact Mr. Cooner. And Mr. Cooner said to send you the payment for this case. Dr. Arinze, I must admit that I am afraid of sending more money to Africa after having the sluthog Mrs. Abacha stealing my $9,000. Therefore, in the honest truth, I have hired Mr. Sule to investigate you to see if everything is on the up and up. He has just emailed me and said that you are an honest man and never convicted of molestation or 419 fraud or bestiality. This makes me trust you very much, as Mr. Sule is helping many of us that have had our money stolen by Mrs. Abacha. Please, can you tell me if she has been arrested and put in jail? Did she have my money in her banking accounts?

Dr. Arinze, I am ready to finish this progress, but I am being very careful with each step and I have promised myself that I will do a lot of the investigation myself. So, therefore, I must ask you to please send me your professional identification card before I send my payment. You can understand that I am afraid after having been robbed once. I shall never let this happen again. As soon as I receive your identification as an email attachment, I shall send the payment for Mr. Cooner.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Looks like Arinze needs time to forge an i.d. card.

dear mr frank,

i shall do my best to assist you. i will send my identity later,

thanks

dr arinze

Meanwhile, Sule tells me that sending me one email after five minutes of cogitation is going to cost me $350. Hell of a deal.

hi frank,

the investigation cost us$350. you can send it through western union with the name below.

name: emenike chienweiro

address: block 34,investigation office, lagos nigeria

text: boy

answer: why

as soon as you send it, send me the mtcn.

thanks

mr sule

But not without an INVOICE!

Dear Mr. Sule,

Thank you so much for your investigation. I have already received an email from Dr. Arinze and he has promised to send me his professional identification. I am happy to pay for this investigation. I have several acquaintances who were also victims of Mrs. Abacha. May I send them your email address as well? They would like you to help them get their money back, too. Also, you never answered my question about whether or not Mrs. Abacha is being put in jail. Do you think she’ll get the death penalty? Since the Western Union offices are closed until Monday, I’ll have to wait until then to send you your payment. Also, for my own personal records, please send me an invoice for the $350. For my tax purposes the invoice needs to itemize exactly what the $350 was used for, such as transportation, meal expenses, bullets, etc. As soon as I get the invoice, I will send your payment. You can scan the invoice and send it to me as an email attachment. My accountant says that it must be signed and dated by you.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Come on, Arinze. Cough up!

Dear Dr. Arinze,

Thank you for responding to my email so quickly. I will await your personal identification. Also, you never answered me my question about whether or not Mrs. Abacha was going to be put in jail and possibly executed. I would like to come over there and attend her trial. Where will it be held?

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Cooner jumps back in.

DEAR FRANK.

SEND ME ALL THE NAMES ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE AND EVEN THEIR EMAIL ADDRESSES.

ALSO SEND ME YOUR PHONE AND FAX NUMBER SO THAT WE CAN COMMUNICATE.

AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE MONEY TO ARINZE, SEND ME THE WESTERN UNION DETAILS.

THANKS

JAMES COONER

A couple of my cohorts in Scam-Baiting decide to play along.

Dear Mr. Cooner,

Thank you very much for your offer to help others. I believe that one of my friends has already contacted you. Here are two others who lost money to 419 scams:

xxxxxxxxxx@xxxxxxxx.com (Samir Bustani, from Lebanon)

xxxxxxxxxx@xxxxxxxxxx.com (Barukh Mellamed, from Israel)

I hope you can help them like you have helped me.

God bless you!

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Sule doesn't seem to grok the concept of INVOICE.

DEAR FRANK,

MRS ABACHA WILL SPEND 24 YEARS IN JAIL. SHE HAS A LOT OF MONEY IN HER BANK ACCOUNT WHICH WILL BE GIVEN BACK TO POEPLE SHE COLLECTED IT FROM.

WE ONLY GIVE INVOICE AFTER WE GET PAID SO I WILL ONLY SEND YOU THE INVOICE WHEN YOU SEND THE MONEY.

ALSO SEND THE MONEY RO DR ARINZE IMMEDIATELY AS WE DO NOT HAVE MUCH TIME.

THANKS, MR SULE

Get it together, ya moron!

Dear Mr. Sule,

Please, you don’t understand how this system works. After I pay you I get a RECEIPT for the payment. Before I pay you I get an INVOICE. If I don’t have an invoice I cannot get the payment cut for you, so you must send me a invoice. This is because of the paperwork and I’m surprised you don’t know this basic business modality. This raises some suspicion in my mind. I’m getting that same feeling I had with Mrs. Abacha. You’re a businessman, Mr. Sule, you know how things work to get people to trust you. If I don’t get a invoice from you, I’m not paying. It’s as simple as that. I was ready to go to Western Union this morning, but I’m going to postpone this trip until I get a proper invoice, signed by you, with the correct amount on it and the date.

Please tell Mr. Cooner that his payment is on hold until I get your invoice.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

I'll complain to Cooner.

Dear Mr. Cooner,

Mr. Sule is refusing to acknowledge basic business protocol and will not send me an invoice for his services. Therefore I cannot pay without this invoice. As a businessman, I’m sure you understand. I will only deal with businessmen in Africa if they follow basic business practices. I’ve learned my lesson. Your payment is on hold until I receive an invoice from Mr. Sule.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

And Arinze.

Dear Dr. Arinze,

I still have not received any identification from you. This, in addition to Mr. Sule’s refusal to send me an invoice for his services, makes me very suspicious. Until I receive Mr. Sule’s invoice and your identification, I will not send a payment. I’ve learned me lesson in dealing with African businesses. I will not be fooled again. Please instruct Mr. Sule to send me his invoice and please send me your identification so that I can proceed and get all my money that was stolen from me by Mrs. Abacha.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Arinze's I.D. It's going to cause him some problems, I'm afraid.

DEAR FRANK,

ATTACHED IS MY OFFICIAL ID. MR SULE WILL SEND THE INVOICE SOON.

SEND THE FEE IMMEDIATELY SO THAT WE WILL QUICKLY RECOVER THIS MONEY.

THANKS

BARRISTER (DR) ARINZE

Dear Dr. Arinze,

Many, many thanks for your email and your included identification. Mr. Sule has sent me the invoice, which I shall pay by money order this evening. I had looked at your card and am very curious about one thing. It says that you are a Legal Practioner. What is a “practioner?” I looked up that word in the dictionary and it’s not in there. Is that some kind of African word? And what kind of doctor are you? I thought you were a lawyer that would help me get Mrs. Abacha assigned to solitary confinement for the rest of her life. Now your card says PRACTIONER and I don’t know what that is. This all makes me very nervous.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

SUBJECT: WARNING ABOUT DR. ARINZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Mr. Cooner,

I have received a card from Dr. Arinze, the man to whom I am supposed to send the money. Mr. Cooner, I don’t know how to tell you this, but WE’RE BEING DEFRAUDED AGAIN!!!! On Dr. Arinze’s business card, it says Legal “Practioner.” PRACTIONER is not even a real word! It’s supposed to be PRACTITIONER! It’s like he went out and got some seriously brain-damaged mongoloid to print up some fake business cards and the printer couldn’t spell. Apparently Dr. Arinze can’t spell either, because he didn’t notice the mistake. BUT I DID! My friend, this so-called “Dr.” is trying to pull a fast one on us. I’m so glad I caught this. There must be a MILLION criminals and thieves over there. I feel so bad that you are surrounded by these scumbags. I don’t know if Mr. Sule is involved with this or not, but I hired Mr. Sule to investigate Dr. Arinze and he said that Arinze was perfectly OK and to send him the money. So, either Mr. Sule is a criminal as well or he’s a piss poor investigator. How did the Nigerian government hire somebody as incompetent as Mr. Sule??? Please, Mr. Cooner, I need to get my money back that Mrs. Abacha stole from me and I want you to protect yourself against these criminals. You need to call the police and have Dr. Arinze arrested for attempted theft. Try not to put yourself in any danger, who knows what these criminals will do. How should we handle this?

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Presenting the MOST FUCKING RIDICULOUS excuse I've ever gotten from a Mugu.

dear frank,

dr arinze is not a fraudster, the spelling mistake is ntural here. in nigeria, we spell some things different because we speak different languages.

practioner is practitioner in igbo language.

you can aske sule about it. so trust arinze.

thanks mr james cooner

nb: dr arinze is also the barrister of the whole igbo movement, a group of nigerians who occupay the eastern part.

Arinze pretends to be amused.

DEAR FRANK,

HA HA HA (LAUGH)

PRACTIONER IS THE IGBO WORD FOR PRACTITIONER. HERE IN NIGERIA, THE IGBO INDIGENES DO NOT SPELL THE NORMAL ENGLISH WAY.

SO DONT LET THAT BOTHER YOU, YOU CAN ASK SULE . SINCE HE IS A SINCERE AND RESPECTED PERSONALITY.

THANKS ARINZE

I think I'll ask Sule a language question.

Dear Mr. Sule,

I have a question for you. How do you say “practitioner” in IGBO?

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Sule adds his two cents worth. He's getting frustrated.

DEAR FRANK,

WHY ARE YOU SO SUSPICIOUS ABOUT EVERYTHING? I JUST GOT A COMPLAIN FROM DR ARINZE THAT YOU ARE SUSPICIOUS ABOUT THE WORD "PRACTIONER WHICH IS THE IGBO LANGUAGE WORD FOR PRACTITIONER, THIS IS NO MISTAKE, IT IS AN AFRICAN WORD. AND IGBO PHRASE.

SO MAKE THE PAYMENTS AND GET BACK TOME.

THANKS, MR SULE

Meanwhile ...

Dear Mr. Sule,

Thank you for your explanation. But your question why am I so suspicious about everything?

BECAUSE I WAS RIPPED OFF BY NIGERIANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s why I’m so suspicious. Wouldn’t you be? Are you and Mr. Cooner and Dr. Arinze IGBO’s? What’s an Igbo? Are the Nigerian 419 scammers Igbo’s too? I’ve never heard of that word before.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Schizophrenia rules in MY Baits!

Dear Dr. Arinze,

I am writing to you to ask for your forgiveness and to apologize for calling you a thieving, conniving, lying, scumbag 419 scammer. Please accept my apology. I’ve never heard of the IGBO language and didn’t think that you spoke a language other than English. I never thought that African people would have a different word for “practitioner.” I’m very embarrassed by this grotesque faux pax. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I’ve cast aspersions on your character and your profession and I had no right to do that. I beg you to please understand that I was just angry when I wrote email to Mr. Cooner. I’m sorry also that I called you a rhino-felching butt-pirate. That is unforgiveable. But I hope that you will forgive me and understand that it was nothing but anger and frustration that led me to refer to you several times as a baboon-humping mongoloid gorilla-fellator. Please forgive me.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Dear Mr. Cooner,

I hope I haven’t completely alienated Dr. Arinze. I wrote him an email to apologize about mistrusting him. Do you think he’ll forgive me and still work with me to get my money back from that slut Mrs. Abacha?

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

dear frank,

he will forgive you because he knows its not your fault.

thanks

james cooner

Dr. Arinze forgives me. What a guy!

HELLO FRANK,

I UNDERSTAND, I HAVE FORGIVEN YOU AND I WILL ASSIST YOU IMMDIATELY YOU SEND THE MONEY.

I ALSO RECEIVED A CALL FROM MT JAMES TO FORGIVE YOU.

AS SOON AS I GET THE MONEY FROM THE WESTERN UNION, I SHALL EXECUTE YOUR JOB AND MAKE SURE YOUR FUNDS ARE RECOVERED.

THANKS

DR ARINZE C. IHEME

Dada, folks. Dada.

Dear Dr. Arinze,

You are a GREAT MAN! Any man who can forgive what I said about him is a GREAT MAN! I am truly, truly sorry about all the things I said about you. You can understand why I’ve been so upset, since that $9,000 that Mrs. Abacha stole from me was supposed to pay for my ex-wife’s kidney transplant. I wish my ex would just up and die, but it’s in the divorce decree that I pay all her hospital bills for the next 28 years. That’s why my money will really come in handy. So you can see why I sort of flew off the handle.

You actually got a call all the way from Mt. James? Was it Mt. James, Washington or Mt. James, Kentucky? I’ve been to Mt. James in Washington before and have actually gone skiing there. Buy why would somebody in Mt. James call you about my harsh comments regarding your abnormal sexual proclivities? I hope that somebody didn’t put on the internet everything I said about you! If so, I am deeply sorry about that. I shall endeavor to put things right and tell everybody in Mt. James that you’re not inclined to felch water buffaloes on national television or expose yourself to the Sunday school class.

I will go to the money order place as soon as I get off from work and send the payment to you and also the payment to Mr. Sule for investigating you. Should I send each one separately or can I put it all into one money order? Do I need to pay sales tax on this?

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Let's get even MORE stupid.

Dear Mr. Cooner,

Thank you so much for helping me to explain to Dr. Arinze about the misunderstanding. I am going to the money order place right after I get off from work. Can I put them both together and send Mr. Sule’s money along with Dr. Arinze’s? This would save me a few dollars and I would appreciate it if that would be OK.

By the way, I’m curious about what does BANQUE TOGOLAISE POUR LE COMMERCE ET LINDUSTRIE mean? Is that in IGBO language, too? Do you speak IGBO? How do you say “hello” in IGBO? How do you say “wombat felcher?” I would like to teach my little son, Schmedley, to say a couple of words in IGBO. I’d like to make a tape of my son saying some IGBO things so I could mail it to Dr. Arinze. Do you know when his birthday is? I could send it then. I think that would be so cute!

Please let me know about the money order thing before I go down there. And also the IGBO things.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

He seems to be ignoring me.

DEAR FRANK,

YOU COULD SEND ALL THE MONEY TO ANY OF THE PARTIES AS THEY ARE TRUSTED MEN. SEND IT TO ANY OF THEM

THE BANK'S NAME IS FRENCH LANGUAGE.

IT MEANS TOGOLESE BANK FOR COMMERCE AND INDUSTRIE.

THANKS

MR JAMES COONER

French lessons?

Dear Mr. Cooner,

Thanks again for the rapid response to my previous email. So, do you speak French? I had no idea. Parlez vouz a humma-humma? I used to speak French when I lived in Nebraska. Please let me know the IGBO words for those words I asked you about so I can tell Schmedley before he goes to school. He’s trying to impress this girl and that would blow her mind. Thanks for letting me send the money order all at once. This will save me some fees and I’ve been pretty broke since the harlot Mrs. Abacha stole my money. Can you believe that people would stoop so low?

I will visit the money order place at 4:40 pm my time. Cheers and hello to your family and friends.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Send the money. Send the money. These guys never quit.

ATTN: FRANK DOBBS,

I HAVE RECEIVED YOUR MAIL AND CANDIDLY ACCEPTED YOUR UTMOST APOLOGY. YOU CAN SEND THE MONEY TOGETHER AND I WILL GIVE TO MR SULE THE MONEY FOR INVESTIGATING ME WHEN I GET THE MONEY FROM THE WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER.

ANTICIPATING YOUR URGENT RESPONSE AND THE DETAIL OF THE WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER.

BEST REGARDS

DR ARINZE

Dear Dr. Arinze,

Please let me know whether it was Mt. James, Washington or Mt. James, Kentucky that called you so that I can get on the internet and undo the damage I’ve done to your good name. If your name is sullied, it’s my humble duty to unsully it. I said a lot of mean-spirited things about you in a fit of extreme depression and misguided fury and I didn’t mean any of it. Sir, you must believe me when I say that I’m sorry and that I was not serious about your sexual forays into the mollusc realm. I take back everything I said about you and that tub-full of de-beaked prairie squid. I hope you can truly forgive me.

I appreciate your willingness to allow me to send the money order all at once. And thank you for offering to pay Mr. Sule for investigating you. He found, through his investigation that your character is sterling and that you have never, to his knowledge, had your way with any diseased reject from any Juarez donkey show. I shall endeavor to visit the money order place at 4:30 pm, my time. Please let me know when the money arrives.

Dr. Arinze, do you TRULY forgive me? I must know for my peace of mind.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Sule called? From Kentucky?

dear frank,

i have forgiven you.

it was mr sule that called me .

thank

dr arinze

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Dear Dr. Arinze,

Thanks so much for letting me slide on all the insults. I didn’t really mean it, it’s just that since that Ho-bag, Mrs. Abacha stole my $9,000 I’ve been all eaten up inside with rage and anger. And that’s why I persisted in placing you in the same category as shoe sole glue huffing trailer trash. I’m glad you have found it in your heart to forgive me. God bless you, my friend.

I have attached the Western Union Money Order and I again apologize for this being so late. Please give Mr. Sule his $350 that I owe him for investigating you. You came out smelling like a rose, Dr. Arinze. I’m very proud of you.

How soon will it be before I get my money back from that pimp-hole, Mrs. Abacha’s bank account. Are you going to send me a check for it or transfer it into my banking account?

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

IT'S FORGERY TIME!!!

Dear Dr. Arinze,

I am writing to make certain that you and Mr. Sule have received my money order. I have not heard from you since I emailed it last night. Please let me know.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

OH NO! Not AGAIN!

ATTN:FRANK DOBBS,

I HAVE PERSONALLY GONE TO THE WESTERN UNION OFFICE OVER HERE TO PICK UP THE FUND ON BEHALF OF THIS CHAMBERS BUT WAS TOLD THAT THE TRANSFER IS NOT IN THERE SYSTEM. I WILL BE ATTENDING A COURT SEATING AT THE HIGH COURT HERE IN LAGOS AND WILL NOT BE CHANCED TOMORROW.

SO, WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO GO TO THE WESTERN UNION OFFICE OVER THERE AND TELL THEM TO CHANGE THE RECEIVERS NAME AND INFORMATION AS BELOW.

RECEIVER :MR IHEME CHIDERA

ADDRESS: ARINZE ASSOCIATES, LAGOS NIGERIA

SENDER:FRANK DOBBS

ADDRESS:ARKANSAS USA

TEST: WHY?

ANSWER: FRIEND

GO THERE AND TELL THEM THAT THIS IS THE INFORMATION YOU WANT TO SEND THE MONEY WITH. AND ALSO TELL THEM THAT I WAS UNABLE TO COLLECT THE MONEY BECAUSE IT WAS NOT IN THE SYSTEM.

AWAITING FOR YOUR IMMEDIATE RESPONSE

REGARDS

DR ARINZE

Dear Dr. Arinze,

I don’t understand about what you said. Why do you want it put under a different name? Who is Iheme Chidera? This is just like what happened with Mrs. Abacha. She was having me send all these money orders to different people who I never knew and I ended up rude, screwed and tattooed. I just called Western Union and they said my name and the money order was in their records and that there must be a computer malfunction over there right now. They said you needed to check again. I told them to change the name to what you said but I didn’t feel very comfortable doing that.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Dear Mr. Sule,

Listen my friend, I think you need to investigate Dr. Arinze again! I send him a money order yesterday and he said he didn’t get it that it wasn’t in the system. This is the exact same thing that Mrs. Abacha would say to me and then I’d send another one and another one and she would be keeping them all until I sent over $9,000 to her in three money orders and she stole them from me. You need to check on if Dr. Arinze isn’t trying something funny with this and he also told me to send it to a different name. Somebody named Iheme Chidera. That’s what the whore-bag Mrs. Abacha did too!!! I had a funny feeling about Dr. Arinze from the beginning or I wouldn’t have asked you to investigate him. Listen, Mr. Sule, I put your $350 in with that money order too, so you need to do a private investigation of Dr. Arinze and find out what’s going on. Should I write to Mr. Cooner and let him know too?

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

ATTN:FRANK DOBBS,

I HAVE RECEIVED YOUR MAIL AND WANT TO INFORM YOU THAT MR IHEME CHIDERA IS A JUNIOR LAWYER WITH THE CHAMBERS AND SERVES AS MY PERSONAL ASSISTANT. SINCE I WILL BE IN THE COURTROOM TODAY WAS THE REASON WHY I ASKED YOU TO CHANGE THE NAME TO HIS SO HE CAN GET THE FUNDS FROM THE WESTERN UNION.

BUT IT IS UNFORTUNATE THAT MR CHIDERA JUST CALLED ME FROM THE WESTERN UNION OFFICE ONLY TO TELL ME THAT THEY SAID THE MONEY IS NOT IN THEIR SYSTEM AND THAT THERE IS NO FAULT WITH THEIR SERVER OR SYSTEM. SO YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE YOU GO OVER TO THE WESTERN UNION OFFICE THIS MORNING TO ENSURE THAT THE MONEY WAS REALLY PUSHED INTO THE SYSTEM.

THANKS

DR ARINZE

It's called WUXFER, dick-head. (WUXfer is our secret code for bogus money orders, folks)

DEAR FRANK,

I HAVE INVESTIGATED, THE MONEY IS NOT IN THE SYSTEM HERE. RESEND IT WITH THE NAME HE GAVE YOU AND ALSO MAKE SURE THEY PUT IT IN THE SYSTEM SO THAT YOUR CAN CHECK IT ON www.westernunion.com AT LEAST IF YOU SEND MONEY, WHEN YOU CHECK THE WEBSITE AND CHECK ORDER STATUS, YOU WILL FIND THE MONEY THERE.

PLEASE MAKE THE PAYEMNT AGAIN.

THANKS, MR SULE

I made up this bogus form from Western Union.

Dear Dr. Arinze,

I have just returned from Western Union and they told me that the reason they couldn’t send money to Mr. Iheme is that because he’s on some kind of list that they were sent from the State Department. They showed me the list and there’s a lot of people from Western Africa on it. They said that in order to release the money that you had to fill out a form that they gave me. They said that I could have it scanned and attach it to an email and that you should fill it out and send it back to me. Why is Mr. Iheme on this list? This makes me very nervous. I have attached the form for you to have Mr. Iheme fill out. All I want is to get the $9,000 back that Mrs. Abacha stole from me.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Dear Mr. Sule,

Were you aware that Mr. Iheme is on the prohibited list at Western Union? I’d like for you to investigate this and report the details of it to me. I sent Dr. Arinze a form they gave me for Mr. Iheme to fill out, but if they refuse to send him the money then I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Please make sure that he fills out the form. Maybe that’s all Western Union needs.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

DEAR FRANK,

YOU SEEM TO BE STRESSING ME. I CANNOT PRINT THE FORM BECAUSE I DO NOT HAVE A PRINTER.

SEND THE MONEY TO ME FROM ANOTHER WESTERN UNION OFFICE OR FORGET IT BECAUSE YOU ALREADY SOUND LIKE A JOKER.

THANKS

DR ARINZE

Joking? Me?

Dear Dr. Arinze,

I don’t understand you! Why would I be joking? What possible motivation would compel me to write to you, Mr. Sule and Mr. Cooner repeatedly for weeks and weeks? Why would ANYBODY do that? All I want is my $9,000 back that Mrs. Abacha stole. I am only doing what Western Union told me to do. They said that as soon as you fill out the form they can send the money. Please, doesn’t Mr. Sule or Mr. Cooner have a printer? It seems that since you are a doctor you would be able to afford a printer. PLEASE just fill out the form and send it back to me.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

Dear Mr. Sule,

I sent Dr. Arinze the form that Western Union gave me for him to fill out and he is refusing to do this? Why? I am just trying to get back the $9,000 stolen from me by the scum-sucking whore-dog, Mrs. Abacha, who I would like to see keel-hauled. Please make Dr. Arinze sign the form so I can get you your money.

Sincerely, Frank Dobbs

ATTN:FRANK DOBBS,

SINCE ALL MY YEARS IN THIS LEGAL PROFESSION, I HAVE NEVER SEEN A SITUATION WHERE YOU HAVE TO FILL FORM BEFORE YOU RECEIVE MONEY FROM THE WESTERN UNION. SO THAT IS NO EXCUSE. NOW THAT I AM IN THE OFFICE, GO AND SEND IT WITH MY NAME DR ARINZE CHUKWU.AND NOT ARINZE AND ASSOCIATES.

THE NAMES IHEME AND CHIDERA ARE VERY COMMON NAMES HERE IN NIGERIA. SO YOU DON' T HAVE TO SAY THAT THE NAME IS IN ONE BOOK OF THE WESTERN UNION OR THE OTHER. LISTEN WE ARE NOT BEGGING PEOPLE TO SECURE OUR SERVICES. IF YOU ARE NOT TRY TO FOOL ME, HOW CAN YOU MAKE TRANSFER THROUGH THE WESTERN UNION AND THEY TELL YOU IT IS NOT IN THEIR SYSTEM. AND EVEN AFTER THE CORRECTION, THEY STILL INFORM THAT THERE IS NO TRANSFER MADE.

I THIS MORNING CONTACTED THE WESTERN UNION HEADQUARTERS IN THE UNITED STATES AND THEY INFORMED ME THAT NO TRANSFER OF THAT NATURE WAS MADE IN ANY OF THEIR BRANCHES.

THANKS

DR ARINZE

Anti-Fraud Sule has come up with a unique scam. He's offering to help victims of OTHER Nigerian 419 scams. For a fee. One of my fellow Baiters gave me the email address and OFF WE GO!

Sule tells me not to worry.

Anti-Fraud Sule sounds SO professional.

Sule's on top of the identification.